An old Hobby Picked back up.

I started making these photo albums again after over a decade of having made them and have decided to sell them. If anyone is interested in one, let me know by posting a comment with your email address and I will get in touch with you. Holidays are coming up you know!!!!

I'm off to see Eggs

I fly out in a little over 10 hours to Las Vegas. I have never been, and on top of that, I get to see my Egg. I miss him so much. We are going to have so much fun!!! It has been nearly 6 months since I have seen him last, and after all the phone calls, emails, and chats, it is going to be worth it. We started our "thing" back in January, and then I moved to New Jersey in May, so the majority of our relationship has been over 1600 miles away. It sucks, but he is worth it. I can't help but be excited about seeing him. He sent me text messages all day giving the countdown to when we will see one another.

For those of you that think I may possibly up and marry the man, have no fears. I have no intentions of doing such a thing.

Anyway, I am off to packing and showering because I will be up at 4:30 AM. Have a great weekend all, and I will report after I get back!!!

Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas...... just kidding.

The Sports Fan

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The Typical Bartender

The Typical Bartender works at the bar that I frequent, and we have been flirting back and forth with one another for a while now. One night I was out at the bar and had met up with Super Short Dude (a blog will be written about him in the very near future). The Typical Bartender handed me a piece of paper and said that if I ever felt like hanging out, I should give him a call.

There was something about this guy that intrigued me. Maybe it was because he didn't come off as the overbearing type like the rest of the bunch, or because I was attracted to him initially. He is tall, not too big or too small, and very quiet. I though that maybe, just maybe this guy was different than all the other bartenders I have encountered in the past.

I called him the night he gave me his number and just told him "Now you have mine. Have a good night". We texted a little bit back and forth, and of course I saw him when I went to the bar on Tuesday nights for wings and on the weekends.

This past Tuesday though was different.

He had mentioned the weekend before that he had put in his notice to leave the bartending job and that he was moving to Jersey City, which from what I hear is about 45 minutes to an hour away. I told him that I was still not opposed to hanging out with him, because that really isn't THAT far away considering everything around here is a drive.

On Tuesday my friend Taco and I met up at the bar to eat some wings and have a few beers. I was doing the normal flirting with The Typical Bartender and Taco said that she didn't really see him reciprocating. She said that something was weird about him and that he just didn't seem "into it".

Anyone that knows me is aware that I am pretty confrontational and up front, so I asked him straight out. He said some bullshit about bad timing and all that and it pissed me off. The thing is, HE gave me HIS number. He initiated the entire process and then when called out on it he retracts the act entirely? This is not acceptable. I could understand if we went out and there was just nothing there, but to give your number out and say "Let's hang out", then come back with the timing being wrong is a bit ridiculous I think.

I got upset and stepped outside with Taco for a smoke. She apologized for calling it as she saw it, and I told her that I was glad she did, because I wouldn't have wanted to invest any time and effort for someone that "wasn't feeling it". Another girl joined us and was asking what was the matter and the truth about The Typical Bartender came out.

The girl told the both of us how the same kind of thing happened with her and The Typical Bartender. She said that he gave her his number and said that if she ever wanted to hang out to give him a call and after a few calls and a few visits to the bar, he told her that she was "smothering him" and that he was no longer interested.

Her friend, The Nurse had a similar encounter with The Typical Bartender. She said something about how one night she was at the bar on a date with a guy and he asked her if she was interested in going out for dinner one night. She was embarrassed because she was thinking about how rude that was to her date and she said "Hell no" to him and left right after dinner and went somewhere else for drinks after that.

I just don't really understand why someone would pursue you, then take it back. How fucking old are we? I am too old for childish fucking games, and quite frankly, it is pretty fucking mean to mess with people's emotions like that in the first place. At least take me out and just say there wasn't anything there before you act like a complete fucking douche face.

The Bad Kisser

I went out last Friday with a guy that I have been talking to over the phone about teaching. He is the grandson of a lady that works for a friend of my mom's. When they heard that I was getting into teaching they figured that he would be able to answer any questions I may have regarding the whole process. My mom's friend told me that he was very attractive, so when he asked me out to dinner, I accepted. We went out to a really nice expensive restaurant, and then he followed me to Krogh's, the bar I frequent. He was good looking and we seemed to hit it off conversationally.

The next day he asked me if I wanted to come over to his house and hang out. He just had his house built and has been in it for about 5-6 months now, so he wanted to show it off to me. We met at a parking lot, and I jumped in his car. We went to his house and I have to admit, it was a very nice house. We watched 2 movies there. The movie Hitch was on the TV, so we watched it together. Then the boy made his move. He asked if he could kiss me, and I said yes. I regretted it the second after when he went in for the kill. It was repulsive. I honestly wanted to throw up in my mouth.

In the movie Hitch, Will Smith mentions that a woman can determine whether or not she can spend the rest of her life with someone based on the first kiss. This is so true. When he kissed me, I was so disgusted that I couldn't even imagine picturing what "other" stuff would be like with this guy. At that point I knew I was not interested in seeing this guy for the third time.

He kissed me again and it was the same; A no go if you will.

The guy is also a hefty guy. He was leaning all over me and I had to keep adjusting because he was really putting a lot of stress on my back. I got to a Chiropractor 3 times a week, so he wasn't helping me at all.

Not only that, but I felt like I was in high school when this guy started kissing me. Granted he IS a high school teacher, but he kept trying to do the "second base" moving the hand up the shirt move, and I was not interested by any means. First off he was not turning me on with his kissing much less the pitiful attempt to grasp my tits over my bra. It was so gross, and when he drove me back to my car I gave him a pitiful hug and ran to my car.

I have had what it seems like a sinus infection for about a week now. He called me and asked how I was feeling and I told him I wasn't feeling great. This past Friday he called me and said that IF I was interested or feeling up to having dinner with him to give him a call. He left a message saying this and also stating that he wasn't going to call me back because he didn't want to bother me if I wasn't feeling well.

I was NOT interested, and I DID NOT call him again. Guess what? HE called again. This pissed me off because he said he wasn't going to call again and bother me, and he did. I can't stand when someone does that shit. He shouldn't have bothered saying that in the message and then contradicting himself. If you leave something open ended like that, then stand to it for fucks sake! I didn't answer the phone because I knew that if I did, I would have gone off on the fucker.

I don't want to be mean to the guy, but at the same time I don't want to use the cliche "You are a nice guy but....." routine either.

Is it bad to say "When you kissed me I wanted to throw up in my mouth. You are 30 years old and should fucking know how to kiss and I haven't the patience to teach you?"

I think he should know that he sucks as a kisser and he was in good until that point, but now I am not interested at all. I mean this guy was so bad that it would take lots of training, and I am not going to invest my time bothering to help him.

Also, when you FUCKING say that you are leaving me alone, that doesn't mean to call me again. WHAT THE FUCK?

Hurricanes and Tropical Islands

The family and I went to Jamaica for 2 weeks, and it just so happened that we were there when hurricane Dean decided to stop by for a visit. It could have been worse, but having a category 4 hurricane coming over our villa was really scary to my mom because of the kids. We went 5 days without electric, and 3 days without water pressure or hot water. It wasn't really that bad about the water, because it was so damn hot that you WANTED to take a cold shower.

The unbearable part was thew lack of electricity. We had to sleep with the windows open because it was so hot, but in Jamaica they have some vicious biting flies and a hell of a lot of mosquitoes that found their way through the holes in the window screens. FUCKERS!!! I remember trying to go to bed and I kept slapping myself to try and kill those bastards. I remember one night my mom and I slept in the same room and we were up at 4 in the morning talking/ hallucinating about what we could do to prevent those fuckers from getting to us. Mom came up with the mummification idea. Her thoughts were to get a whole bunch of gauze and wrap it all over out entire bodies. We went through 3 tubes of anti-itch cream. 3 TUBES!!!! Mom sat in her bed with a bottle of Raid in her hand and I sat there with a lantern and a Citronella coil that the bastards were immune to. We cussed them out like it was going out of style, and I still have marks from those fuckers!

Not to mention the damn biting assholes, My dad and I went snorkeling the Thursday before we left. A massive fucker of a jellyfish decided to attack me and stung 3/4 of my body, basically everything that wasn't covered. I was stung all up and down on one arm, some on the other arm, and all around both of my legs. Needless to say I was done with the ocean at this point. I have been back a week now, and the scars are just now going away!!

Other than that, everything was awesome. I need to go back to get the negative parts out of my mind.

The Clueless Dork and the Brewery

There is a place in NJ that I have frequented a few times called Krogh's. It is a bar and I happen to like the fact that they brew their own beer. I have found that on Tuesday nights, they also do 30 cents wings, in which I am also a fan.

I met a guy there on a Saturday after leaving the movie theater to watch the new Harry Potter movie. He was alone, and there was a seat available next to him. I should have drawn some conclusions by this, but it was the only seat available in the entire bar, so I sat down and ordered a beer. The Clueless Dork then began talking to me.

The Clueless Dork moved to NJ in February due to a job relocation. He is from Michigan. He came here with his wife, and after having done so, she left his ass. I should have inquired more about WHY she left him, but I didn't want the guy to burst into tears. He told me that on Tuesday nights they had the 30 cent wing special and Karaoke, which I am also a fan of. He seemed like a nice guy and we talked to one another for a while until I was tired and wanted to make my way back home. He asked if I would be interested in joining him on Tuesday for wings and karaoke, and I, feeling bad for the poor guy accepted his invitation. After all, I would have gone alone and so would he, and had I declined he would have seen me there by myself anyway.

He is a nice guy, and completely harmless, but a COMPLETE moron when it comes to women. We met up for wings, ate them, and made our way to the non-bar area where karaoke kicks off at 10 PM.

First off, I have to say that he is by far the WORST singer and dancer (yes, he danced) that I have EVER seen or heard, but I got to give props to the boy for getting up there to begin with. He started the night with Tainted Love, but only after a dedication of the following....... "This goes out to my soon to be EX-wife". He proceeds to sing, and does this little number where he is somewhat squatting and shaking his finger (kind of like the water sprinkler dance, if that helps with the visual). He if completely tone deaf and doesn't seem to know the way the song actually goes. Everyone in the bar started singing to help the Clueless Dork out for Christ's sake. After he consumed more and more drinks he began to ATTEMPT pulling his arm around me, which I made very clear that I was NOT interested and for him to stop. The bar closed at 2 AM, and I think I ended up leaving a little after 1:30 AM. He lives right on the lake, so he usually walks, but I offered to give him a ride to his house. I then made it very clear that for 1) I am not interested in seeing a married man, be that he is separated or not, 2) That I was not interested, and 3) To not make an attempt to touch me, because I adore my personal space.

The following Sunday afternoon he calls and asks me if I wanted to do something. I wasn't really in the mood to DO anything, but I told him I wasn't opposed to watching a movie or something. He then suggested that I come over, we would watch a movie, and he would cook dinner for the both of us. I agreed.

I went to his house and I must say that he lives like a complete bachelor when it comes to the kitchen area. He had nothing to drink, and only 2 or 3 items in his fridge.

So we watch a movie. I brought over a few to choose from and absolutely NOTHING sappy, because I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. We watched Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny.

Then he "cooked". Okay, so I have never seen a guy make a steak without marinating it. He took it out of the package and put it straight on the grill. WHAT? He puts 2 small potatoes in the microwave and opens a can of peas, which he also cooked in the microwave. He asked how I like my steak and I told him Medium Rare or Medium at the most. He said he liked it Medium, so Medium it was....... NOT. That steak was hard as a rock, but oh well, at least it was a good cut of beef. Not only did the majority of his "cooking" consist of microwave safe dishes, but he then, after having taken the steaks off the grill (and about 10 minutes too late if I might add), marinated them and spiced them...... again, WHAT?

We ate, and the entire time, he was staring at me and asking me if it was good, and to compliment him on something...... What was I supposed to say? Your microwaved dishes are superb, or the Well Done/Medium stake that was marinated after and hasn't retained any of the spices are hard as a fucking rock? I merely proceeded to tell him that people shouldn't ask for compliments and that if it wasn't good I wouldn't be eating it. That of course was a lie, because I didn't want to make him feel bad, but at the same time I didn't want to compliment him on my jaws hurting from biting into his overcooked steak either.

We then went outside where he made a fire in this pit and made s'mores. The s'mores were good, but how can one really fuck those up, you know? I made sure to compliment him on those before the poor guy started crying for not having received a compliment. After the fire died down a bit, I said thanks, and went home.

We had planned on Sunday to return to Tuesday night wings because the week before he paid and told me I was obligated to pay the next go round. So we went, and luckily for him, there was no karaoke show going on that night for him to humiliate himself more than necessary. He did however get shit-faced. He started with a dark beer (similar to Guinness), then went to red wine, then to Gin after he told me he was drunk from the red wine. I am sure he had an awesome hangover the next day. Also, this guy is an engineer who works in a lab testing things for diabetes, imagine him throwing shit together in a lab with this melting pot of a hangover.

I go outside to smoke, and this happens more and more as I continue to drink while the Clueless Dork proceeds to, what it appears to be anyway, flirt with these 2 chicks in the bar. WRONG. He decides to tell them his entire life story and how he and I met, along with the whole sha-bang. I tell him that I am leaving to go home and he says he is going to stay to "finish his dart game". The guy seriously needs to get laid, and he seriously needs to know what to say when trying to pick up another lady.

Rules
1) Don't talk about how you met some other chick at a bar when trying to get laid.
2) Don't whine about how your wife left you if you are trying to get laid.
3) Don't refuse to buy a girl a drink when you are trying to get laid and they are sitting there chewing ice from their empty glasses.
4) Don't SING if you CAN"T when you are trying to get laid.
5) Don't DANCE if you don't know how to if you are trying to get laid.
6) Don't dedicate a song to your soon to be ex-anything if you are trying to get laid.
7) Don't offer to cook for someone when you don't know how to.
8) Don't use the microwave instead of a stove if you are trying to "impress" someone with your cooking skills and looking to receive a compliment.
9) Don't tell someone your wife left you, then proceed to put your arm around someone.

There are too many..... making me tired. I will end at that.

I did forget to mention this earlier. When we went to the bar this Tuesday, The Clueless Dork felt the need to order my food for me. Ummmm, NO. I am a grown ass woman, DO NOT try ordering for me, especially if I am paying. DOUCHE!!!

May I also add that he likes bragging about the fact that he was an Eagle scout and tells it to everyone he meets...... creepy!

The Chronicles of Wah-Wah, Part III

Motion isn't only in the ocean.
My vibrator has the magic potion.
He revs me up, and puts me in gear.
I have to drive and I have to steer.
There is no auto pilot, so I have to do
more than I should, which I am used to.
To tell you the truth it has been quite a long time.
He is still packed away in one of those boxes of mine.
I should take him out and have a go.
But what if someone walked in and saw my big show?
I am so used to living alone,
Now I get kicks with "him" on the phone.
"Pour some sugar on me" as Bon Jovi once said.
And lick from my feet right up to my head.
As you can tell, it has been quite some time.
Since I've spent some quality moments with that vibrator of mine.
I once got a friend a special one too.
Cause she knew the spell I am now going through.
The next day she said she was happy he had arrived.
The best Christmas gift ever, she swore on her life!
The gift that keeps giving, until his batteries die.
Then you buy more and he will be revived.




In honor of Fuzzy McCootersnatch
May your "friend" glow forever!

Some Poems for the Egg

I heart a man, I'll call him egg.
He gives me love and I needn't beg.
He is the Egglands Best.
I dream of him, nearly every night.
I can't wait to have him in my sight.
Houston is so far away!


Eggs are good breakfast.
Eggs are also good lovers.
I need to see eggs.

The Chronicles of Wah-Wah, Part II

It only takes a few minutes to get where I am going;
Cause I am in control, and my toy is all knowing.
I call him BOB, Battery Operated Boyfriend
He love me long time, and is there til the end.
I hate when you go to use him and his batteries are dead
It's not like the fucking thing can give you some head.
But oh when he's charged and ready to go
You can make him go fast, and you can make him go slow.
My favorite is Osaki, I admit he's quite nice
He doesn't stimulate once, he stimulates twice!
He takes care of the internal and external spots
To hell with the sweating, he still makes me hot.
So tonight I will go sit back and just chill
And no one will worry, cause I will be fulfilled!


Not as good as the first Chronicle of Wah-Wah, but we have to keep it going.....

New Career on the Horizon

I moved to New Jersey to start working for a car dealership here, which I ended up hating. My boss made my life a living hell. I had told my mom about a week prior to Friday, July 20th that I felt that my boss was seriously trying to get me to quit. For the past two weeks or so I have been given a hard time from Guido the Steroid Abuser. It didn't surprise me on Friday at 3:30 PM when he "let me go". I was pissed that they had me move nearly 1700 miles, but at the same time, I was a bit relieved. I didn't plan on working in the car business the rest of my life, but I figured I would stick with it and make the most money I could then jump to something else. I don't have to do that anymore.

I decided that the best thing for me to do is something new and different. I didn't go to college to work with cars, and quite frankly, I don't think you have to have a degree to do that shit either. I want to do something that benefits others, and I want to come home feeling like I accomplished something and made an impact on someone else's life.

I was offered a job today in the teaching field. I think that this is what I want to do. When I got my degree in Theatre, I always said that if I didn't act, I would love to teach it. There was a teacher that made me pursue acting, he inspired and motivated me to do what it was that I loved. I want to do this for someone else. I knew that there wasn't a definite job obtaining my degree in Drama, but I didn't care; I loved it and that is what I wanted to do, and I still do.

So, I am getting out of car dealerships and into instilling others with some of the knowledge I have obtained in my many years of attending schools and Universities.

Wish me luck, and God help us all!

I Feel Like an Ass Right About Now....

I bought a movie on Half.com and thought that the seller tried to rip me off by sending me a burned copy of the dvd. I attempted to contact the seller, and received no word back from him, then I proceeded to file a claim to Half.com directly. I received notification from them last night informing me that I was going to be issued a refund for the movie and that should resolve the problem.

Here is why I feel bad....

I bought Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Little did I know that the dvd was presented to look like a burned copy of the move, and in all actuality it was not.

I shouldn't feel bad about getting something for free, but I do feel bad for filing a claim against a seller for no reason. I just wish he would have responded to my email to resolve this issue prior to going and leaving him negative feedback and going over his head and filing a claim with the company directly.

I feel that they may have issued me a refund because the seller had some consistent negative feedback, therefore not questioning me and not asking for me to return the copy of the dvd. It works great, and I clearly remember writing the company informing them of this, and that I would have bought it regardless because of the price. I just felt that the seller would have noted that it was a burned copy.

I feel bad about all of this.

What should I do now that I have stuck my foot in my mouth?

Apparently I am not the only confused one. See here for more info.

My 5 Hour Excursion

I spent this last weekend making my rounds in Alexandria, VA and Washington, D.C. Oddly enough I have more friends there than I do here, which is somewhat sad, but really cool at the same time. I drove after work on Friday and got there at 10:00 PM. I should have gotten there at 9:44 PM according to my GPS, but I managed to get all turned around a few times because certain exits were too close to one another, or because I was still a little "in the clouds" to pay 100% attention. Nonetheless, I got there and saw my bestest friend in the world, Belle. The first night we went to a bar in Virginia, which was cool, seeing as how I haven't smoked in a bar since very early May.

* Tangent I know, but cigarettes are so fucking cheap there too. I should have bought like ten cartons, but I only got one. $33 for a carton....... Rape me and call be sugar tits...... (no, not really).

Saturday we headed over to the local diner (which you can smoke in as well), and ate BLT sandwiches (which I have been craving ever since, thank you very much). And then moseyed our way afterwards to a potential living space for Senorita Belle.

We also managed to meet up with 2 other college graduates on Saturday. First, we went to Miracle Whip's house and conducted a little partaking before heading over to Jubilee Jack's house in D.C. We had a feast! It was awesome. Jubilee Jack got in Grill King mode and we had a plateful of beautiful,tasty things to eat. We had steaks with a habanero kick (like burn the butthole kind of kick), stuffed mushrooms, mutated (by this I mean massive) Tabasco-Worcestershire-basil shrimp (grilled), bruschetta (without tomatoes), and asparagus with bacon.

After making a "happy plate", we went to a bar in DuPont called BrickSkiller. It was fun because I had another friend from high school that came too. I will call him Homo-Straight Boy. Everyone got along very well and we all managed to get drunk enough to forget tid bits here and there of the night.....

Sunday we woke up from Jubilee Jack's couch and made our way to brunch at DuPont Grille. It was pretty yummy, besides the fact that my bloody mary tasted like watered down cocktail sauce.

Then Belle and I did all the touristy-like stuff in the form of a "drive by". We drove and snapped pics, and got out one time to take pictures with Albert Einstein, make out with him, and offer him hits from our smokes....... classic!

We then went to Belle's house, took slut lick showers and went to the mall where we managed to grab some hella deals.

Then I drove home.....

In traffic......

I miss them already. It was super fun!!

My Adventure in Going Out Alone

Friday night I refused to sit at home doing nothing, so I went to the local bar by myself. I figured one of two things could happen. I could A) meet some cool people and have some drins potentially bought for me, or B) I meet no one and sit there chatting with the bartenders. The second possibility didn't bother me, because I would be able to ask them what people did for fun and other places to check out nearby. I did meet some people though. Here is how it all started......

I was sitting by myself and drinking a beer. The bartender comes up to me, places a coin in front of me and tells me that my next drink was purchased by the guy at the end of the bar. I say hello to the guy and tell him thank you for the drink. He comes over and starts talking to me. I was trying to be friendly but the guy was incredibly unattractive, and he has a severe staring problem. I met the people that were with him. They were actually the ones sitting next to me, and they were really cool people. This other guy, on the other hand was a douche waiting for me to tell him to fuck off. I went out to smoke a few times and he followed. He was trying to hit on me, so I made it very clear that my intentions were not to hook up with anyone, and that finding a guy was my last priority. I somehow don't think he grasped this concept. Every time he asked me a question and I told him the answer, he kept asking the same question over and over again. He was annoying and after talking to him for a period of time, I wanted to kick myself for giving him my number. Let me just note that I was on a mission to find FRIENDS, and at the start of our conversation he seemed like a decent guy so I gave him my number to increase the number of contacts I know in New Jersey.

BIG MISTAKE......

The guy asked me about six or seven times my plans for the following day. I told him I didn't know and to call if he wanted to do something. He asked what time I was going to be waking up and I told him not to call me early because I needed to sleep in after waking up at 5:30 every morning. I then said "do not call me in the AM at all"..... Guess what time the douche calls? 12:00 PM on the dot.....

Can we get anymore desperate?

I didn't answer. He calls a few hours later. I didn't answer again. He texts me. I don't respond. He then waits until 8:00 PM and calls again. Again I didn't answer. The last call was received at 1:28 AM as I am asleep in my bed. I didn't answer.

Today he skipped the calling and went straight to text messaging. He texts me at 1:41 PM asking if I was alive......

I didn't respond.

Next text at 6:06 PM saying "ski with me tonight". I didn't respond immediately.

I finally write him a text saying "stop texting me. It isn't free and I didn't respond to your 1st one. You always this pushy with people that tell you they aren't interested? It is very annoying."

He writes back "Go fuck your mother".

I respond by saying "I was trying to be mature about it. I told you that night at Krough's I was not interested but you kept pushing, and now you respond like one of your three children. Way to go".

I think he FINALLY got the point.

Are all guys like this when they are drunk or what? This guy apparently refused to take in what I was saying, then gets mad when I reiterate it. What the fuck? I told him from the beginning I was not interested. How is it my fault that he failed to retain the information?

Fuck the Family Plan

My mom and I were both listed under a family plan with our current mobile provider. After the last bill came in, I have been hearing endless shit from my step-father regarding our cell phone use and minutes used. I called the company today and asked for help with this issue. She opted that I keep my number, keep the plan, but separate the bill. I asked her what all this entailed. She informed me that by doing this, I would be taken off the family plan, as well as my mother, and we would each hold individual policies and separate bills. I asked her about our previous bill, because according to my step-father, I was the one using the phone too much, and I was the one going over the allotted minutes. She told me the truth, which I have rarely seen since I stepped foot in this household. She told me that my mother and I were on a plan sharing 850 minutes. She then told me that we both were averaging 500 to 600 minutes EACH per month. So much for it being just me, right? Well, I got my own plan and now no one can say shit about it. I am a big girl now and they aren't paying for shit anymore. That was the only thing, seeing as how I held an additional line for only $10, but that was too much. Now I can honestly say they aren't paying for a god forsaking thing for me. Fuck family plans and making one person feel they are the one jeopardizing the plan for everyone. Shove it up your ass!

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The Snake

Last night I dreamed of a snake. In my dream I bought a snake and a cage. When I got home, the snake had outgrown his cage and I was on my way back to the pet store to buy a larger cage. In the small cage, he kept popping his head out and I felt bad for him. At some point between home and back to the store I woke up, and I think I just figured out what this dream meant.

My mind being as perverted as it may be, led me to believe that this snake was a "trouser snake". When I bought the snake and the cage he fit, but when I took him out and tried to put in back later, he didn't. I think this is because when you take a "trouser snake" out to play, he grows.

I haven't had any loving in a while, and maybe this has led my mind to wander a bit.

If anyone else thinks this dream may hold a different meaning, let me know. I think I got it down to a T just now!!!

Hope you enjoy my randomness today, I just thought it was funny.

I Have Been Tagged!!!

Rules:
1) Post the rules, then list 8 things about yourself.
2) At the end of the post, tag and link to 8 other people
3) Leave a comment at those sites, letting them know they've been tagged, and asking them to come read the post so they know what to do.

About me:
1) I love the feeling of brand new socks. There is just something about ripping open a bag of new socks and the feeling of them on your feet. (and no, I don't have a foot fetish)
2) I also HATE feet. I think they are the ugliest part of the body. Probably because when I was younger I almost got run over while I was riding my bike in an apartment complex and instead of braking, skid my toes to a screeching halt while wearing flip-flops, causing me to lose my big toenail. I didn't grow back the same.
3) My real dad and I didn't talk or see one another for 7 years. It was Hurricane Katrina that brought us back together.
4) I totalled my first car 5 days before my mother's wedding to my step-dad and we had 16 people staying in one house with one car.
5) I didn't eat any form of pork for 5 years because I was with a Muslim man for 5 1/2 years and he wouldn't kiss me if I ate pork.
6) When I tried to quit smoking in college and used the patches, I had night terrors every night.
7) I have the ability to ingest an obscene amount of craw fish.
8) I used to suck so hard on my first boyfriend's lip that I bruised/left a hickey on his lip and he would get mad at me.

I am tagging RockStarHour, Pocket GirlFriend, Sharona, MerMer, Cari, Jewelz, MyLifeInWordsAndPictures, Daju

And it Was Over Lick-ety Split

I moved to New Jersey with 2 friends that I met on MySpace; Sweet Charity and Nanny Mongo 911. At this time that number has dropped down to 0. Nanny Mongo 911 should be named differently seeing as how she lost her job, but considering I haven't the effort to think of something appropriate for her without being a complete bitch, I will leave her name as is. Nanny Mongo 911 and I were never as close as Sweet Charity and I were, and I think this bothered her. I think in some twisted way, she was jealous that I would steal her girlfriend from her. I am not homophobic by any means, but I prefer sausage to taco, and that is the way it has always been and always will be. It is a shame to have lost Sweet Charity as a friend, but I haven't the effort to constantly feel the need to justify my words, my actions, and according to Nanny Mongo 911, the way I STARE at people. I have never been told that I stare at people or anything like that, but I'll just let that slide and take her word for it for lack of giving a shit.

Saturday the 16th, I had called Sweet Charity and Nanny Mongo 911 after having dinner with my parents at a restaurant owned by Brinker International. I had taken my car separate from my parents in case I was going out afterwards to avoid having to drive home, get my car, then leave again. They said they weren't in the mood to hang out that night and that we would try to get together the following day. I must clarify that no one is obligated to hang out with me, and personally I wouldn't want to hang out with someone that feels like they HAVE to hang out with me. I was fine with the fact that they were not up for company, told Nanny Mongo 911 the same thing, and drove home where I watched a movie with my parents and enjoyed my recently purchased TV for the first time since I have moved here.

Monday the 18th I felt under the weather and didn't make it to work. I got on my computer at home to check my emails, and Sweet Charity was online. We started talking. She said that Nanny Mongo 911 told her that I was pissed about Saturday and that I hung up on her so things were weird. I told Sweet Charity that I was not upset, that I would call and tell Nanny Mongo 911 the same thing just to reassure that my words were not misconstrued. I left a message telling her this and went on with the rest of my day.

Wednesday the 20th I went over to a co worker's house and watched a movie and on my way home I called Sweet Charity. No answer. At this point I figured something was up because we usually talk a few times a week and I have been getting the cold shoulder.

Yesterday I wrote Nanny Mongo 911 an email asking her when a good time to get my shoes and lunchbox would be. I had left them there the Friday before. We had gone out that night, and I had gone to their house directly from work leaving my belongings there when we went out. She writes me back saying that I can pick my things up on the upstairs porch because they were having company and if that was not convenient, she just didn't know what else to do because they were busy the rest of the week.

I wrote Sweet Charity instead, because she tends to be the more level headed one, and seeing how she was not the one I had talked to on the phone on Saturday I assumed she would be better to talk to. If I told her I was not mad, she should believe it, after all she was not the one on the phone with me and apparently still doesn't know the truth because her idiotic, jealous girlfriend felt the need to turn her against me. I asked her that if that day wasn't convenient seeing as how they were leaving my shit outside, they can opt to send it to me with their postage returned to them for the "inconvenience". This seemed to be more inconvenient for them, so I said I would pick it up and that be the end of it.

I went over there after work and interestingly enough Sweet Charity's coworker, whose wedding I had attended was there as well. I saw her car and heard their voices outside and from below. They were all outside like the immature people I thought they were not. Well, I already knew about Nanny Mongo 911, because when she decided to dump Sweet Charity and take it back a few days later she had dropped me off her MySpace friends list for being there. This is completely another issue that I should get into because she dumps her girlfriend, tells her she is in love with someone else, tells her she still loves her, and that she was doing it for her. This is all bullshit because if she really LOVED her, she wouldn't have dumped her, and she would have been glad that she had a friend like me that was there for her when she was such a mess. She didn't care. She just was rejected by the girl she was still in love with so decided to stick around and retract her break up for the meantime, until it happens again that is.

Needless to say, they are full of DRAMA, and I could care less to deal with all of that shit.

The title lick-ety split has to do with the fact that they are of the lezzy persuasion..... I just thought it was clever. If I left anything out, I will add to it later, enough of the bullshit for the meantime.

Tired of Liars

I just have to say that I am so tired of people that feel the need to fabricate the truth. I mean, really, what is the point? I guess if you are trying to get someone to not like someone else, and your opinion holds more value, this could potentially work out for you. If you are of substantial worth as a friend, you know better than to believe what others say. A true friend has nothing to hide, so before you believe what someone else says, just ask them yourself. What do you have to lose? I would rather have a good friend, than a boyfriend/girlfriend that lies to me.....

Just a thought, but more on this later....

There is Always a Douche at Each Job

So I like my job for the most part, but there is one prick (sitting next to me at the moment) who gets on my last fucking nerve. He may be a nice guy outside of work, but some people are just not work compatible. More on this later. I think he is watching me........

OK, so today he was fine but let us back track a bit........

(insert twilight zone music here)

Yesterday when I got to work my boss asked what I had said to Ugly Metal Band Coworker about my pay checks. The thing is, he asked me why I had 2 checks, obviously in my business, which to me was a little too close for comfort. This had happened Friday, so Monday my boss asked me this and I told him the situation. I told him that Ugly Metal Band Coworker had asked me about my pay, and I told him. I felt uncomfortable doing this, but at the same time I didn't want to lie. I should have just told him that was none of his business and that be the end of it, but I didn't want to be rude.

For the most part, people in my position work on only a salary until their probation is up. I on the other hand, was an exception. I am receiving a base plus a commission and this made Ugly Metal Band Coworker unhappy. I can not help that I have been in the car business for a while and I cannot go back in time to amend his original offer. He agreed to the terms of his employment. I guess I am just a better negotiator.

I thought it was odd that my boss was even approaching me with asking what went down, because I have never been in a job where people have the nerve to ask what I make and then proceed to take it to my boss. Suck it up and go on with your life! When my boss asked me, I relayed verbatim the conversation between Ugly Metal Band Coworker and myself and the proceeded to tell my boss that it was unprofessional to begin with and that I could not even begin to fathom why it was being brought up again.

Work ends and I drive home....

Phone rings.

I answer and it is my boss calling. He told me that he had laid it down to Ugly Metal Band Coworker and that he was impressed with my performance at work. We get off the phone and that was it.

I get to work today and Ugly Metal Band Coworker and I get along just fine and he was actually quite conversational today. I guess my boss did more than just telling him to mind his own business. Whatever he did it worked for at least a day. Hopefully it was a consistent talking to. More on THAT later.

Its my Hair and I do What I Want!

I have decided to do something drastically different with my hair. I have not yet determined the cut I will be getting, but I plan on going a little lighter with the color. Since I have moved to the Garden State, I have been compared to those people that lack pigmentation in their skin, or Albino if you wish. I must say I also dread brushing my hair. It is so long, so curly, and so tangled, that it tends to be a huge pain in the ass to deal with, and I never wear it down. I want a shorter look, but this frightens me at the same time. I have very curly, very thick hair, and the shorter it is, the more of an Afro i have. I need to get some magazines to get some ideas.

Besides this decision, my mom decided to make an appointment at a spa where I may have a consultation with an expert and go from there. First off, my hair is not cheap to do. To give you guys an example, my mom messed my highlights up once and spent nearly $300 just to color it back one color to my natural brown, so if mom is planning an adventure at the spa, my pocketbook will most definitely be damaged from this. It would be nice of her to suggest these places and offer to foot the tab, but for her to offer my hard earned money is a bit overboard. I am not an at home mother with a husband that provides for me.... I pay my own bills, and I have a job that I have to wake up at 5:30 AM every morning to get ready for.

I need some suggestions as far as hairstyles and lengths. Any suggestions would make my decision a bit easier. Out with the old, bring me something new!!

State Farm: Lack of Collision Coverage

So I received a letter in the mail yesterday saying something along the lines that my collision coverage was suspended. I called the agent, and of course was directed to the 24 hour answering service, which is basically a human answering machine. They were unable to define the New Jersey code in the letter because the lady on the other end of the phone did not live in New Jersey, and was unaware of New Jersey laws. I of course was irate. I wanted answers and I wanted them answered immediately. I had gone into the local agent on May 18, and according to the letter, my coverage was suspended on May 26, only 8 days later for failure to comply with some inspection regulation. The only thing I could think of was my tags and inspection was conducted in Texas, and I had not gotten around to switching them over to New Jersey. I left a message and told them that I was extremely upset and they needed to contact me immediately. I also told the lady on the other end that if anything happened to my car (God forbid), they were paying for it for not having notifying me sooner. The letter as I said indicated that my coverage was suspended on the 26th, the letter was dated the 29th, and I received the letter on the 30th. The leter also had mention of a 10 day time frame to have this inspection done, and I in the meantime was left to figure out what the hell this inspection was.

My agent called today, and immediately was apologizing on behalf of the company. Apparently the day I went in to sign for the New Jersey coverage, they had taken pictures of my car. They did this in order to be aware of the condition my car was currently in so I would be unable to claim anything that was already done to the car. The lady then proceeded to tell me that she had improperly scanned the pictures and they were not sent to their corporate office and the fault was 100% theirs. I told her this was unacceptable, and that they should have received a failure to comply letter and not me. That had nothing to do with me, and I was thinking I had done, or not done something I was supposed to. Talk about getting pissed off. The douche bags had me worrying for nothing. They were to blame and I did nothing wrong. I even get a 1/2 month deduction for 5 days worth of "mistakes". Shows them right. Sucks to be them!

Too Tired to Think

I know that I have left some of you hanging, but this new job is kicking my ass. I do not mean literally, but waking up at 5:30 is so hard as it is, and when I get home, I am pooped. I promise to write something substantial tomorrow. Perhaps a blog of the commercial or the "real" reason I am in New Jersey, according to the owner of my job. Interested anyone? Sleepy time, but definitely more on both topics.

Thanks for keeping up, I promise to get better once I get adjusted 100%, but definitely tomorrow!

First Day at the New Job

So I started my new job today. It was a little boring because I am being trained so things were going slow and we had to take breaks whenever my boss was interrupted, but for the most part is was pretty cool. Everyone was very friendly, and we all sat down together for lunch. The town I work in is very small, and because of the town's ordinances, everyone brings their own lunch, or they go down to the local grocery store to purchase salads a la carte, sandwiches, or the daily soup special. My mom made my lunch for me. She had called while I was out at Sweet Charity and Nanny Mongo 911's house and asked what I wanted. This is the life. I can't remember the last time my mom packed my lunch for me, but I can hardly remember living at home last too. It does have it's perks though, because there was no way in hell I was attempting to make my bed at 5 o'something this morning, but when I got home, mom had done it for me. I don't want to get used to it though. She asked me the other day if I wanted her to wash my clothes. I said no. I ended up washing mine and hers (+ a dad and the kids). I would rather not loose touch of all the things I have been doing for the 8 years away from home.

Back to the job......

I felt like I was in Pre-K all over again. I got to color with 3 colors. Yellow, green, and pink. It was fun! I am only joking. I did color, but it was a very useful way my boss did things to determine whether or not cars have been assigned, whether or not they were finished, and if they were staying over night. I did as he put it "bust his chops" about it, but it was indeed a very efficient way of going about things.

I hope that this is the job I am going to stay in for a while. Everyone there seems to really like it. The other people in my position have been there 1) 2 years, and 2) 6 years, so someone must be doing something right. The thing is, I was put in to take someone else's spot, while the other in the same spot moves up, and the service manager we currently have goes to the sister dealership to do the same thing for more money.

I must admit I like how they move up within the company instead of hiring in. That way I know that if I stick with it, I can make the most potential money possible and work my way all the way to the top. Besides the guy in my position was telling me how to go about filing single 0 on my tax form rather than single 1 because apparently we make too much money and if we file single 1, we end up owing a few grand to the government when tax season come back around. Glad someone filled me in on that!

Well, I am tired and I need to get cleaned up for tomorrow. Today was a good day, and hopefully tomorrow will be even better.

Just for the record, I made my lunch for tomorrow......

Who Wants to be Sad All the Time?

I don't.....

I talked to New Jersey today. Well, he talked to me. I went to Karate after my brother's swimming lesson and he asked me to step outside. I did. He told me that I shouldn't have called. I already knew that the second I pressed call and there was no turning back, but I also didn't think it appropriate to just hang up either. And oddly enough, his girlfriend was there. Figures, right? Well for all I know he could have moved her in. After all, he did say he needed a woman's touch when we were talking, guess it would be wrong to assume it was MY touch just cause I have the parts, right? Anyway I cried, again, and this time in front of his face. I couldn't help it. I feel he led me on in the beginning, and the second that something else came along, something more familiar, I was put back on top of the shelf to collect dust. I am so sick of the same routine, but I find myself allowing it to happen over and over again. I think it is because I automatically assume that with a different person comes a different scenario, right? Wrong. The same series of events, just in their own way. Maybe it is me. Maybe it isn't. I feel like I lose more of myself and hope each time it occurs, so when someone good finally decides to come along, I may just be empty and hollow inside. That would be hard though, cause even though I am a bitch, I still always manage to have plenty of love to give. I just want to feel it for once instead of handing it all out. I know you have to give to receive, but this is just ridiculous. I don't have to have it now, but I don't want to cry about not having it. I also don't care to be made to feel worse for not having it. Can The guys that know they are douches break our hearts without shoving it in our faces? Is that too much to ask?

So Now I am a Taxi Driver

I guess my mom is taking full advantage of the fact that I am living here now and have yet to start my new job. She decided that before the lease on her car is up, she is going to take it in for some minor body work. The guy at the shop told her it would take 3 days, so guess what? I get to drive the kids to school, to dance, to karate, and to swimming lessons. Not only this, but my sister attends school for only 2 hours a day. My schedule will be this for the remainder of the week. Take brother and sister to school, come home, pick up sister, come home, pick up brother, come home, go to swimming lessons, then straight to Karate, then come home. Nice huh? I knew I would be given a few babysitting duties, but I was unaware that I was going to be the only one with a car to take everyone everywhere they need to go (besides dad, but he is at work all day). If I had started my job according to original plan, my mom would have to take a rental car to accomplish this, but no..... I get to be the jack ass. I think this is quite interesting because I told my mom she would have to give me money for gas, because I am not going to pay to take these kids everywhere they need to go. I love them and all, but I am the one that has yet to start my job, therefore I have no income coming my way at the time being. This is just ridiculous. I didn't sign up for this.

Crying Myself to Sleep

Last night I cried myself to sleep. I can't really explain it, but it happened. I also called New Jersey and left a message, which I most likely should not have done. I couldn't sleep and I was thinking about him since I had left the Karate place. I think the message was somewhere along the lines of ....

"Meeting you was interesting. I couldn't stop thinking of you since, so I called and I figure you are asleep. I mean no harm by calling, I just couldn't sleep".

It was weird, because for a period of time I was talking to this guy 3-4 times a day, emailing constantly throughout the day, and planning packages to send to him. Then he breaks my heart before I even meet him, and when I see him I am reminded of all this. From what I understand now it is his girlfriend that is far away. Irony huh? I think he only gets to see her on the weekends so hopefully my call caused him no trouble. If so however she can accept that my call was harmless, or be ready for a Texas sized ass whooping, which I am sure is a hell of a lot harder than what she has to offer. After all, everything is bigger and better in Texas.

As far as the crying myself to sleep thing, I think I am just lonely and wanting so badly to be loved. My last real relationship I loved and he didn't, so reciprocation would be appreciated. I feel I give too much and get nothing in return with guys. I am just tired of it, and want the next thing that comes my way to be something real. I am tired of not being treated the way I treat others. I want to give and to love, but it is hard when the person that you are with isn't mature enough or ready to give it.

My Dream of Being Kidnapped

Ever since I graduated college and started the typical 8-5 kind of job, I rarely sleep in even when I am allowed to. Last night I got home from Sweet Charity and Nanny Mongo 911's house around 1:00 AM. I got one the computer, finished downloading some songs, and made my way to the bed. Normally my idea of "sleeping in" is around 9 o' clock, 10 at the latest. This morning was different. I woke up at 11:20 AM, and I hold my dream responsible for this. You know those dreams that are so intense you just have to finish them before you wake up? This was one of those. It was so intense and when I woke up, I was sweating.

Here goes....

I don't remember exactly how it started, but I was kidnapped along with a handful of my friends. From what I recollect, it was Sweet Charity, Nanny Mongo 911, and Lamb Bone. We were kidnapped by some guy and for some reason no one believed us whenever we came across an opportunity for someone to help out. We tried telling people, calling the police, and got absolutely nothing. We ran to other people's cars and they drove off with us basically hanging on their window (windows down of course). Everyone just drove off.

We were tortured by this man. I don't even know how the few incidents came along where we even had the opportunity to reach out for help, because from what it seemed, we were on a very tight leash. It was very creepy.

This went on for a long time and somehow one of my friends managed to lead us to the garage with a few moments head start and we jumped in this guy's car. I remember that we started driving the car off before we were fully inside and the doors were still open. It kind of reminded me of how they had to move the bus in Little Miss Sunshine..... you get the idea. The only way we escaped this man was by doing this, because had we all waited until in the car with doors shut, it would have kept on going. I remember him reaching us right as we started pulling the car out and going as fast as we could with the doors wide open.

I woke up sweating, as if the running to the car and jumping in while in motion with doors wide open really had occurred. It was so real that I could not possibly wake up until there was some resolution. We escaped, therefore allowing my body to be awaken and my mind so distorted from what I had previously encountered.

What I want to know is this... Why did everyone think we were crying wolf when this guy had indeed taken us hostage? Was everyone so self absorbed that they couldn't reach out to people in need? I know that dreams are supposed to have hidden meanings so if anyone knows what the hell all this means, please do tell.

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I met the Infamous New Jersey

I met him. If you ask whom I speak of, you must go back to the very first posts ever written in this blog. He was absolutely gorgeous. I must admit I got emotional the second I sat in my car (I of course had to wait until he was not able to see me doing this). My brother and sister had swimming lessons this afternoon, so I opted to take them. Afterwards, I met up with my mother at her Tae Kwon Do class with the rugrats and he was there. My heart sank. He had an amazing smile, eyes like the shore of Aruba, and a body to die for. I was feeling a mixed sense of 1) Rip my clothes off, and 2) That man must give a great bear hug. He was strong and gentle at the same time. I wanted him to passionately grab me, kiss me, and sweep my off my feet. This of course didn't happen, but it is okay for one's mind to wander. I am also a bit upset with him. His whole excuse for getting back with his ex was because "I was so far away." I felt like saying "Ha, now what, bitch?" I of course didn't. I couldn't. I felt myself avoiding eye contact with him to procrastinate on the waterworks for a few moments longer at certain points of our conversation. He came up to me at the end of class and told me he knew who I was the second I walked in. I knew he was there prior to even walking in the door because in previous conversations we discussed the cars we drove and I saw it out in the parking lot next to my mothers. He was definitely caught off guard. I wonder if it makes any difference either way.

The Lone Star State Meets The Garden State

I made it to New Jersey on Wednesday, May 9th. I started driving on Monday. I drove 11 hours to Attalla, AL and stayed at the local Days Inn. That was the first night I slept all the way through the night; I guess I was exhausted. The next day I drove 9 hours plus a time zone change, so technically 10 hours in a car. I stopped in Alexandria, VA for the night and stayed with Antibelle, my friend from the "black hole" as she likes to call it. For those unaware of what the "black hole" is, it just so happens to be the town we went to college in. I drove through 10 states. I started in Texas, then Louisiana, then Mississippi, to Alabama, Georgia, to Tennessee, then through Virginia, Delaware, Maryland, and New Jersey. 26 hours total driving and near 1700 miles later, I finally reached my destination. I was tired of driving and by the end of the trip my ass hurt so bad I thought some of the cushion had worn itself a bit thin. It is still there, so this must not have been the case. "I currently live in New Jersey", that sentence sounds weird to me for some reason. It is such a big difference from what I have ever known, but I know I will adjust. The weather has been great. It was a bit chilly last night, but for the most part it has been great weather for me to come into and get used to it before it changes drastically. Only 3 weeks ago it was 37 degrees.......

Pilot injured in Wednesday plane crash dies

McALLEN – The pilot of a single-engine plane that crashed Wednesday night near Dodge Arena has died.

Jose Francisco Ortiz, 34, of Tampico, Tamps., Mexico, died this morning in the burn unit of San Antonio’s Brooke Army Medical Center after receiving burns to 90 percent of his body, Mexican consular officials said.

His passenger, 25-year-old Georgina Grimaldo Azuara, of San Luis Potosi, SLP, Mexico, died Wednesday night at the crash site, along 10th Street between Dicker Drive and Military Highway.

FAA: Engine failure may have caused fatal plane crash

New regarding one of our customers..... information provided by www.themonitor.com

McALLEN – An engine failure during take off may have caused a Wednesday night plane crash near Dodge Arena, according to preliminary data released by the Federal Aviation Administration this morning.

The crash, which killed a 24-year-old Mexican woman and severely injured the single-engine plane’s pilot, occurred shortly after the aircraft stopped for fuel at McAllen-Miller International Airport.

The pair was flying from Houston to their home in Tampico, Tamps., when the plane went down just before 7 p.m. on a stretch of South 10th Street, between Dicker Drive and Military Highway.

The pilot, identified as 34-year-old Jose Francisco Ortiz, was taken to an area hospital before being transferred to San Antonio’s Brooke Army Medical Center with burns to 90 percent of his body, Justice of the Peace Rosa Treviño.

Treviño would not reveal the name of Ortiz’s passenger Wednesday night, because her family had yet to be notified.

“She was burned to the bone,” Treviño said. “Luckily there was no traffic coming and going because it was right on the bridge.”

The plane went down south of Military Highway minutes later and skidded to a stop on 10th Street about one mile north of Hidalgo’s Dodge Arena. The crash site is about 2 1/2 miles south of the McAllen airport.

Debris was scattered for about 50 feet along the roadway, and there were visible scorch marks in the sorghum field adjacent to the road.

The crash is the area’s second in a week. Last week, U.S. Customs and Border Protection pilot Clinton Thrasher died when his Cessna 182R went down on a ranch north of San Manuel, about a mile north of the Hidalgo County line.

EARLY REPORTS
Just before losing control of the plane Wednesday night, Ortiz sent out a Level 3 alert to the airport’s air traffic controllers. The alert is a broad emergency signal that could mean there was smoke or fire outside or inside the plane, said Enrique Castillo, the McAllen airport’s spokesman.

But the FAA’s early data indicates the plane’s engine failed during take off, according to a report released on the agency’s Web site.

While it remains too early to pinpoint the exact cause of the crash, indications that mechanical malfunctions could be to blame would have come from investigators on scene or even the pilot himself, said Roland Herwig, an Oklahoma City-based spokesman for the FAA.

“He could have called in the cause of his problems before the plane went down,” he said. Records for the aircraft, a Lancair IV-P, indicate it was classified as “experimental” and list it as being “amateur built.”

At least four previous crashes involving planes of the same model were linked to engine malfunction, according to an NTSB database. Aircraft of the same model have been involved in at least 11 crashes since 2002, seven of which involved fatalities.

NTSB investigators are expected to release their own preliminary report next week and a probable cause for the crash several months later.

WRECKAGE SNARLS MORNING COMMUTE
Emergency crews remain at the scene this morning, blocking off the roadway until NTSB investigators can assess the crash site and forcing authorities to divert traffic between Dicker Drive and Military Highway.

Authorities urge morning drivers to avoid the area by taking an alternate route, such as 23rd Street.

The stretch of 10th Street near Dodge Arena is expected to remain closed until Friday morning, said Amy Rodriguez, a local spokeswoman for the Texas Department of Transportation.


*Jose Francisco Ortiz was declared dead a few moments ago. More on that as it is being released and we are notified any further.

Plotting on PT Shmoozer

This is my last week of work, and for the most part everyone has been pretty easy to get along with, except PT Shmoozer. Ever since Monday she has needed a priest to hold an exorcism in her honor. With a 360 degree turn of her neck, I knew it was on. For some reason she is an unhappy person and tends to come off that way to everyone else, causing her to be disliked by the majority of the staff. I have had a not so pleasant exchange of words with her since Monday. When my boss got into the office on Monday, he asked me to inquire with PT Shmoozer regarding some overtime I worked the previous Friday. I asked her if that was going to be paid in addition to my normal pay check Tuesday the 1st, or if she was planning on waiting until Friday to cut that check. Her response was unsatisfactory, and I made it known to those in authoritative positions. She said that because I had taken off for 420 when my friends were in town, that my 6 1/2 hours of overtime would pretty much cover the day I missed work. This was unacceptable. I have been working with this company for 6 months, and of that 6 months, the owner, the general manager, and my boss knew about me taking 420 off 2 months in advance. This day was approved and signed to be a paid day out. PT Shmoozer informs me that an employee doesn't acquire any paid time off until the year anniversary of their start date, but seeing as how the company failed to give me anything in writing or an employee handbook all this was up in the air. I have been told 2 different things at this point. I had been told 1) that employees get one week vacation their first year, and I have been told 2) an employee gets one week vacation after they have been there one year. The problem stems from the lack of organization and the lack of professionalism in this company. First off, in order to enforce these rules and policies, they must provide adequate paperwork to their employees, otherwise how is a person to know? Secondly, had I called in sick I would have received a paid sick day, but PT Shmoozer was trying to dock me a days pay for something I had given over 2 month notice; I think not. I of course raised hell to my boss and the general manager. I was told by the GM to wait until Friday and it would be resolved. I was not going to do this. I hardly think that anyone is going to be willing to help me on my last day, much less have to track down money owed to me on my last day. I also do not think I should have to wait until my last day seeing as how the pay period had ended and that day was part of that particular pay period. I refused to hear anything else; I was to be paid that day, and that was final. Well, all day we were back and forth with PT Shmoozer, with the GM and my boss on my side. At 4:30 yesterday afternoon I went to her desk, asked if my check was ready and she said "No". I walked into my boss' office and told him that if she didn't pay me, I was going to stand there until she did, and that I wasn't lifting a finger to do any work until I was paid for my time. I go back to her desk at 5:00 when I am heading out to go home. The check was still not issued. I walk into my Italian Long-Lunch's office again and tell him I am not leaving until this was fixed. In the hallway, the GM comes to me and hands me a personal check out of he and his wife's personal account. I told him I was not going to take his money that PT Shmoozer can write me a check, and then, just then, the bitch says "Here is your check". I wanted to punch that bitch in the face; Matter of fact that is the plan for Friday when I leave the establishment for good. I may also post a few advertisements on sites for casual sexual encounters and spam stuff to be received in her inbox.

I Think it is Time to Move on.

I received an email this morning from a friend of mine from Middle School. This is an exchange from one girl to another. The one starting the conversation is a girl I do not know. Names have been altered to protect the identities of these people. I of course am Pissed Off, Middle School Midget is my ex, Fat Cheerleader is the girl who is stuck in the past, Bo Jangles is the male friend from Middle School, and Petite Patty is the girl I know that sent this to me. The girl I do not know I will call Unknown Person.

Here goes....

(Starting with Unknown Person to Petite Patty)

"Hey I talked with Fat Cheerleader the other day and she said that Pissed Off sent her an email saying something like "why does it surprise you that Middle School Midget and I lasted that long".... Well anyways Fat Cheerleader was asking if I knew anything about it. I don't even know Pissed Off...so I wouldn't really care if she and Middle School Midget were or were not together. I didn't know anyone else that would know anything about this except you or Bo Jangles so that's why I am asking you what you know about this. Thoughts? -Unknown Person"

(Response from Petite Patty to Unknown Person)

"hmm I dunno I think someone told Pissed Off that Fat Cheerleader said that, maybe Bo Jangles, but don't quote me on that because I have no freakin idea, lol such drama! Pissed Off is really cool though. I like her lots, I just hung out w/her on Wednesday. I do remember hearing something about that but I have no idea who said what. "

(Unknown Person to Petite Patty)

"I'm gonna forward this to Bo Jangles and see what he knows... -Unknown Person"

(Last email From Petite Patty to Unknown Person)

"I don't want to get involved... why say anything to her... no point in starting drama right? just say you don't know anything about it b/c I don't want to get involved at all. "

That is the end of the exchange of words between Unknown Person and Petite Patty. I wrote an email to Fat Cheerleader on the 6th of April. This is what it said...

"So I heard you were shocked to hear that Middle School Midget and I dated for a long time..... Why was that surprising to you? Just curious. How you been? "

(Fat Cheerleader's response to that email)

"if you're that curious and you really want to 'talk' you can call me anytime..... 281-216-0642. xoxo, Fat Cheerleader"

What does it mean when the word talk is in quotes? Is that the start of fighting words? Why is Fat Cheerleader so stuck in the past? She dated Middle School Midget in Middle School. That was fucking 15 years ago. I think that is plenty of time to have healed from any wounds occurred from that time. I just think it is ridiculous that she is still not over it.

I responded to her with this...

"What's the deal with your friend Unknown Person doing some investigation on me? You dated Middle School Midget in middle school. Don't you think you should be over it by now? I mean, honestly. Besides I am not even with him anymore, so what is the huge fucking problem? I have bigger things to stress out about and worry about. Tell Unknown Person I said "Hi." Glad you are all so concerned with my life. "

I am sure that if she hasn't grown up by now, she is probably not going to, but it's worth a shot.

I must be pretty damn important for her to be so concerned, and if she is trying to track down who all she said that shit to in the beginning, she may be better off keeping me out of her mouth. Grow the fuck up and move on to something else. Your story is old, and no one cares dumb obese bitch!!

Pigs in the Workplace

Due to the recent unemployment of The Fraudulent Christian, I had to assist PT Shmoozer with answering the phones while she went to lunch. It just so happens that Houston law enforcement shows during this time. They had initially asked me where the owner was. The owner had walked out about 30 minutes prior to their arrival. They ask for the next in charge. That would be the GM, but he is out until 4/30 on a vacation. They proceed to ask me for the next in line; which just so happens to be PT Shmoozer, and she too was out to lunch. They then ask us if a fire were to occur, how would we direct everyone out seeing that no one of authority was in the establishment. The police, or as I would like to call them Hooskin Haters, start asking me and Girly Boy about licenses. I was not sure what licenses they were speaking of, and Girly Boy directs them to a pin board located behind PT Shmoozer's door. I asked the Hooskin Haters if that was sufficient and they said no, so I decided to ring PT Shmoozer on her mobile phone. PT Shmoozer drags her saggy ass back to work, and at this point the Hooskin Haters were rummaging about things in the office as if they owned the place. The Hooskin Haters are then directed to the only 2 salesmen we have. They ask them about their licenses to sell cars. They inform us that according to their records we are selling cars illegally. I imagine things went fairly well with them after that, because I walked out for a smoke, and when I returned, they had left. The Hooskin Haters tell the people in the front that we, Girly Boy and myself refused to tell them the owners name. That was a crock, had they asked for it, they would have received it. I wasn't offering the information, but if they wanted it they could have asked. Police get on my damn nerves sometimes. Why would they say to their superior on the phone that I refused to give them the owner's name? Fucking pigs!!!

Someone Got Canned!!!

It was only a matter of time before The Fraudulent Christian was going to be let go. That just so happened to be yesterday. Like the dumb ass she is, she went to the GM and told him her probationary period was coming to an end, and asked him if they had any intentions of keeping her. He said no. I guess she then told him that she would work until the end of the pay period, which is Monday. I guess that didn't go so well. She is not here today, so I imagine her asking made the process go much quicker than she had anticipated. She had the audacity to go to my boss yesterday and ask if she could take my position once I left. My boss told me this and said that he would quit if they put her in my spot. It is nice to be loved and appreciated. I can honestly say that he is the coolest boss here, even though his lunchtime habits tend to piss me the fuck off. They seriously need to hire someone else. They are still behind on employees. They have yet to fill the receptionist position and Fuzzy McCootersnatch left a while ago. Now, they have to fill the accounts payable position because The Fraudulent Christian got the can, and as of next Friday, I will be out of here and my seat will be empty. I know that working in the front is not easy. It isn't the work that is difficult, but the lady at the front that has been there 26 years is a bitch; I'll call her PT Shmoozer (she drives an ugly PT Cruiser). It is hard for anyone to stay in accounts payable with PT Shmoozer. She is hard to work for and never satisfied with anyone. It seems that no one ever makes it past their probationary period. I guess that is because even though they are short on staff, they would rather not invest in someone and offer them the few dinky benefits they have available here. I can honestly say I saw it coming; I just can't believe the idiot initialized her own termination. That reminds me of the movie Friday, where the guy gets fired on his day off. That shit doesn't happen everyday!!!

Variety of Thoughts

I am tired. I have to go through all of my things and decide what I am going to take and what I am not going to take with me. Where do I start?

The weather sucks today. Seems like a monsoon is occurring right outside the glass doors I look out of. When I walked out to my car this morning, a huge branch of pine was behind my car. I had to move it out of the way, of course causing me to get drenched. I hope the water doesn't cause a flood; my car is low to the floor.

I am a bit aggravated when it comes to people stepping on my toes. If I started something, like a weekly routine of something, is it okay for people that I invited to start doing it without me, as if they started the fucking tradition? I really want to know other peoples take on this. I started a dining experience in which I invited friends to join me, and now they are doing it, but I am not included. I know everyone has a right to do things themselves and to eat wherever the fuck they want, but I find it rude and disrespectful that they are going without inviting me to join. It is not as if they were attending this establishment on a regular basis, if at all, prior to my invitation. I know why I am not being invited as well. The reason is because of the altercation I had with the Karaoke guy a while back. I really shouldn't let it bother me. After all I will be leaving soon, and I shouldn't sink to the maturity levels of others.

My friends in NJ, Sweet Charity and Lamb Bone (for now) aren't on Yahoo! Messenger. I wonder if their Meatball Morning boss took it off of their computer. I miss them. How will I go all day without speaking to my NJ best friend and her co-worker. Why must Meatball Morning play with my emotions and be a menopausal bitch? Of course I haven't had the opportunity to meet Meatball Morning, but when I do I'll make sure to give her a swift kick in the teeth for making my friend upset yesterday. I hope Sweet Charity is missing me as much as I miss her right now.

I called Nanny Mongo 911 in NJ this morning; no answer. Why am I being tormented today?

I failed to mention the most recent news with The Fraudulent Christian this past weekend. There is a girl that works only on Saturday that is our weekend receptionist. Well, she sits at The Fraudulent Christian's desk on Saturdays. Well, The Fraudulent Christian uses this odd thing for her computer keyboard so that is is elevated and tilted. Saturday Receptionist moves it out of the way when she gets in; no big deal. The Fraudulent Christian leaves a note to Saturday Receptionist saying that she has no problem with Saturday Receptionist sitting at HER desk, but she needs to put things back how she found them. First off, The Fraudulent Christian is new, and she really shouldn't be taking ownership of the company just yet. Secondly, Saturday Receptionist is the nicest person ever. She wasn't intentionally forgetting to put the keyboard back the way she found it, but in spite, I personally would fail to put it back each time she bitched about it. That's how I roll. Besides, I have tried using that tilt keyboard thingy, and it is ridiculously slanted. I don't know how she uses it. It isn't like a subtle prop, it is a lap mate gone too far.

I thought I was going to have to pay all of my apartment fees and costs up front. Turns out they aren't requiring me to do that. I was allowed an extension. That is a good thing. That means I don't have to charge every last cent I have in credit cards. Whew, close call. I like to have a little safety, you know?

I think that is all for now. My boss beckons. I will get more to you all in a bit.

The Fraudulent Christian

I work with a woman that calls herself a Christian. She always goes on about how she never says mean things about people and how she prays for people with ugly souls. This bitch is crazy. First off, she DOES talk bad about people. She got Fuzzy McCootersnatch and I in an argument a while back because she opens her mouth when it is not necessary. Secondly, the woman is married. Not only is The Fraudulent Christian married, but she lives with another man. She lives with the father of her child. So, let's catch up before we go any further.

1) There is a woman
2) She claims to be a Christian
3) She talks bad about people
4) She is married to a man she does not live with
5) She lives with another man other than her husband

Let us continue shall we? Well, on top of all this, she is a slut bag. She is sleeping with one of the guys at work that is also married. She is unaware of the widespread knowledge people have of this, but it is certainly very obvious. She leaves for lunch, his truck follows, she returns from lunch, his truck follows, and when she leaves for the day, he is right behind her. I wasn't aware that devout Christians are home wreckers too. I guess that was not in the part of the Bible I have ever read. The thing is, don't preach about how holy you are, when you aren't. Let's add to our list shall we?

6) She is sleeping with a married man
7) The married man she is sleeping with works with us

Moving on...... Recently before Fuzzy McCootersnatch left us to go to The Bike Rally, The Fraudulent Christian asked her for help in setting up a profile on Match.com. I guess her free trial was over and she went on to what she had free reign over. This lady is also not attractive. She is 50, or approaching 50, dresses like she is 20, and looks pregnant with triplets. How is that for a visual?

There are more interesting tid bits about The Fraudulent Christian. Not very long ago she was telling Fuzzy McCootersnatch and I about an issue she has with puss in her urine. She stated that it was a Urinary Track Infection, and claimed she didn't sleep around, but at this point that is all up in the air. After all, does a devout Christian woman get involved with a happily married man that has 2 children?

One day she arrives to work, goes upstairs and there was no coffee made. She tells Pirate Pants to make her some coffee. Pirate Pants has been working here for 26 years, he came over with the owner, so she was wrong for asking him to make her some coffee. Luckily he didn't. He informed her that anyone wanting coffee was responsible for making it themselves. She of course waited for the cleaning lady to arrive and told her to make her some coffee. She claimed she didn't know how to make it. Well, business coffee makers usually have prepacked coffee, as we do, and a button on the machine that says "start" or "brew". Fucking idiot!!!

Then, last week, she must have cut herself with some paper or something so she gets on the intercom and calls one of the parts guys to the front desk. He was unavailable, so another parts guy comes to the counter. He asked what she needed and she told him she needed Breakfast Taco Runner to go and get her a band-aid. Well, this was also a do-it-yourself type thing like the coffee. You need a band-aid, get it yourself. The parts guy told her this and she said, "I'll wait until he isn't busy, I don't feel like walking all the way over there." Bitch, with your fat, pregnant, triplet looking ass you could use to walk up a few steps!!

Tell me after all this that this lady is a good Christian woman. She is a lunatic!!!