And it Was Over Lick-ety Split

I moved to New Jersey with 2 friends that I met on MySpace; Sweet Charity and Nanny Mongo 911. At this time that number has dropped down to 0. Nanny Mongo 911 should be named differently seeing as how she lost her job, but considering I haven't the effort to think of something appropriate for her without being a complete bitch, I will leave her name as is. Nanny Mongo 911 and I were never as close as Sweet Charity and I were, and I think this bothered her. I think in some twisted way, she was jealous that I would steal her girlfriend from her. I am not homophobic by any means, but I prefer sausage to taco, and that is the way it has always been and always will be. It is a shame to have lost Sweet Charity as a friend, but I haven't the effort to constantly feel the need to justify my words, my actions, and according to Nanny Mongo 911, the way I STARE at people. I have never been told that I stare at people or anything like that, but I'll just let that slide and take her word for it for lack of giving a shit.

Saturday the 16th, I had called Sweet Charity and Nanny Mongo 911 after having dinner with my parents at a restaurant owned by Brinker International. I had taken my car separate from my parents in case I was going out afterwards to avoid having to drive home, get my car, then leave again. They said they weren't in the mood to hang out that night and that we would try to get together the following day. I must clarify that no one is obligated to hang out with me, and personally I wouldn't want to hang out with someone that feels like they HAVE to hang out with me. I was fine with the fact that they were not up for company, told Nanny Mongo 911 the same thing, and drove home where I watched a movie with my parents and enjoyed my recently purchased TV for the first time since I have moved here.

Monday the 18th I felt under the weather and didn't make it to work. I got on my computer at home to check my emails, and Sweet Charity was online. We started talking. She said that Nanny Mongo 911 told her that I was pissed about Saturday and that I hung up on her so things were weird. I told Sweet Charity that I was not upset, that I would call and tell Nanny Mongo 911 the same thing just to reassure that my words were not misconstrued. I left a message telling her this and went on with the rest of my day.

Wednesday the 20th I went over to a co worker's house and watched a movie and on my way home I called Sweet Charity. No answer. At this point I figured something was up because we usually talk a few times a week and I have been getting the cold shoulder.

Yesterday I wrote Nanny Mongo 911 an email asking her when a good time to get my shoes and lunchbox would be. I had left them there the Friday before. We had gone out that night, and I had gone to their house directly from work leaving my belongings there when we went out. She writes me back saying that I can pick my things up on the upstairs porch because they were having company and if that was not convenient, she just didn't know what else to do because they were busy the rest of the week.

I wrote Sweet Charity instead, because she tends to be the more level headed one, and seeing how she was not the one I had talked to on the phone on Saturday I assumed she would be better to talk to. If I told her I was not mad, she should believe it, after all she was not the one on the phone with me and apparently still doesn't know the truth because her idiotic, jealous girlfriend felt the need to turn her against me. I asked her that if that day wasn't convenient seeing as how they were leaving my shit outside, they can opt to send it to me with their postage returned to them for the "inconvenience". This seemed to be more inconvenient for them, so I said I would pick it up and that be the end of it.

I went over there after work and interestingly enough Sweet Charity's coworker, whose wedding I had attended was there as well. I saw her car and heard their voices outside and from below. They were all outside like the immature people I thought they were not. Well, I already knew about Nanny Mongo 911, because when she decided to dump Sweet Charity and take it back a few days later she had dropped me off her MySpace friends list for being there. This is completely another issue that I should get into because she dumps her girlfriend, tells her she is in love with someone else, tells her she still loves her, and that she was doing it for her. This is all bullshit because if she really LOVED her, she wouldn't have dumped her, and she would have been glad that she had a friend like me that was there for her when she was such a mess. She didn't care. She just was rejected by the girl she was still in love with so decided to stick around and retract her break up for the meantime, until it happens again that is.

Needless to say, they are full of DRAMA, and I could care less to deal with all of that shit.

The title lick-ety split has to do with the fact that they are of the lezzy persuasion..... I just thought it was clever. If I left anything out, I will add to it later, enough of the bullshit for the meantime.

Tired of Liars

I just have to say that I am so tired of people that feel the need to fabricate the truth. I mean, really, what is the point? I guess if you are trying to get someone to not like someone else, and your opinion holds more value, this could potentially work out for you. If you are of substantial worth as a friend, you know better than to believe what others say. A true friend has nothing to hide, so before you believe what someone else says, just ask them yourself. What do you have to lose? I would rather have a good friend, than a boyfriend/girlfriend that lies to me.....

Just a thought, but more on this later....

There is Always a Douche at Each Job

So I like my job for the most part, but there is one prick (sitting next to me at the moment) who gets on my last fucking nerve. He may be a nice guy outside of work, but some people are just not work compatible. More on this later. I think he is watching me........

OK, so today he was fine but let us back track a bit........

(insert twilight zone music here)

Yesterday when I got to work my boss asked what I had said to Ugly Metal Band Coworker about my pay checks. The thing is, he asked me why I had 2 checks, obviously in my business, which to me was a little too close for comfort. This had happened Friday, so Monday my boss asked me this and I told him the situation. I told him that Ugly Metal Band Coworker had asked me about my pay, and I told him. I felt uncomfortable doing this, but at the same time I didn't want to lie. I should have just told him that was none of his business and that be the end of it, but I didn't want to be rude.

For the most part, people in my position work on only a salary until their probation is up. I on the other hand, was an exception. I am receiving a base plus a commission and this made Ugly Metal Band Coworker unhappy. I can not help that I have been in the car business for a while and I cannot go back in time to amend his original offer. He agreed to the terms of his employment. I guess I am just a better negotiator.

I thought it was odd that my boss was even approaching me with asking what went down, because I have never been in a job where people have the nerve to ask what I make and then proceed to take it to my boss. Suck it up and go on with your life! When my boss asked me, I relayed verbatim the conversation between Ugly Metal Band Coworker and myself and the proceeded to tell my boss that it was unprofessional to begin with and that I could not even begin to fathom why it was being brought up again.

Work ends and I drive home....

Phone rings.

I answer and it is my boss calling. He told me that he had laid it down to Ugly Metal Band Coworker and that he was impressed with my performance at work. We get off the phone and that was it.

I get to work today and Ugly Metal Band Coworker and I get along just fine and he was actually quite conversational today. I guess my boss did more than just telling him to mind his own business. Whatever he did it worked for at least a day. Hopefully it was a consistent talking to. More on THAT later.

I Think it is Time to Move on.

I received an email this morning from a friend of mine from Middle School. This is an exchange from one girl to another. The one starting the conversation is a girl I do not know. Names have been altered to protect the identities of these people. I of course am Pissed Off, Middle School Midget is my ex, Fat Cheerleader is the girl who is stuck in the past, Bo Jangles is the male friend from Middle School, and Petite Patty is the girl I know that sent this to me. The girl I do not know I will call Unknown Person.

Here goes....

(Starting with Unknown Person to Petite Patty)

"Hey I talked with Fat Cheerleader the other day and she said that Pissed Off sent her an email saying something like "why does it surprise you that Middle School Midget and I lasted that long".... Well anyways Fat Cheerleader was asking if I knew anything about it. I don't even know Pissed Off...so I wouldn't really care if she and Middle School Midget were or were not together. I didn't know anyone else that would know anything about this except you or Bo Jangles so that's why I am asking you what you know about this. Thoughts? -Unknown Person"

(Response from Petite Patty to Unknown Person)

"hmm I dunno I think someone told Pissed Off that Fat Cheerleader said that, maybe Bo Jangles, but don't quote me on that because I have no freakin idea, lol such drama! Pissed Off is really cool though. I like her lots, I just hung out w/her on Wednesday. I do remember hearing something about that but I have no idea who said what. "

(Unknown Person to Petite Patty)

"I'm gonna forward this to Bo Jangles and see what he knows... -Unknown Person"

(Last email From Petite Patty to Unknown Person)

"I don't want to get involved... why say anything to her... no point in starting drama right? just say you don't know anything about it b/c I don't want to get involved at all. "

That is the end of the exchange of words between Unknown Person and Petite Patty. I wrote an email to Fat Cheerleader on the 6th of April. This is what it said...

"So I heard you were shocked to hear that Middle School Midget and I dated for a long time..... Why was that surprising to you? Just curious. How you been? "

(Fat Cheerleader's response to that email)

"if you're that curious and you really want to 'talk' you can call me anytime..... 281-216-0642. xoxo, Fat Cheerleader"

What does it mean when the word talk is in quotes? Is that the start of fighting words? Why is Fat Cheerleader so stuck in the past? She dated Middle School Midget in Middle School. That was fucking 15 years ago. I think that is plenty of time to have healed from any wounds occurred from that time. I just think it is ridiculous that she is still not over it.

I responded to her with this...

"What's the deal with your friend Unknown Person doing some investigation on me? You dated Middle School Midget in middle school. Don't you think you should be over it by now? I mean, honestly. Besides I am not even with him anymore, so what is the huge fucking problem? I have bigger things to stress out about and worry about. Tell Unknown Person I said "Hi." Glad you are all so concerned with my life. "

I am sure that if she hasn't grown up by now, she is probably not going to, but it's worth a shot.

I must be pretty damn important for her to be so concerned, and if she is trying to track down who all she said that shit to in the beginning, she may be better off keeping me out of her mouth. Grow the fuck up and move on to something else. Your story is old, and no one cares dumb obese bitch!!

Uninvolved: Tired of the drama

So, I talked to Fuzzy McCootersnatch today. I don't want to be mad at her anymore. I think I let things get to me that I just blow up, and other people that interfere don't make the situation any better. I don't mind my job. What does bother me, is that people are so consumed in every one's business, and it drives me nuts. It is so hard to keep up with all the bullshit, so why even let it get to me? Fuzzy McCootersnatch was the first person I connected to here, and I don't think things she may have said or done were intentionally done maliciously. She is a good person deep down, and as far as giving a damn about anyone here, she is the one that I actually care about. If I didn't care about her like this, I wouldn't get upset, or bothered, or enraged that I felt betrayed by her. She didn't even go to the party that was held by Jugs on Saturday. All this stink and no reason for it. I get my feelings hurt quite a bit, and honestly, why would I want to be somewhere when people don't want me there? I am tired of the drama. I just want to be happy. I just want other people to be happy, and I don't want people to pretend that they are here for me when they aren't. There is no need for that. I don't want to waste my time with someone if they really don't want to be friends with me. There is too much time for those that do, so why let it get to me? When times are rough, you know who your friends are. No matter how big or small an argument is, we all come around if we are both in the same place, and we both care. Like I said before, I don't want to be mad at her, because she is better than the rest of these douche nards.

Uninvited: a revoked invitation

Saturday I was supposed to go to a 5th annual house warming party. I called the hostess, Jugs to get directions. No answer. I left a message and told her to call me back because I didn't know how to get there. She called when I was showering to start getting ready for her party, so I told her I would call her back in a few minutes. I got out of the shower, and called Jugs again. When I had asked her how to get to her house, she told me that it would be best if I didn't come to the party after all. I asked why, but she didn't go into much detail. She said that I was spreading gossip about Fuzzy McCootersnatch and Derf, Jugs' boyfriend. I asked her what I allegedly had said, and she said that I have been spreading rumours that they have been having sex. I think that is funny, because coincidentally, Fuzzy McCootersnatch told me that Eggland's Best was spreading those rumours. I have no doubt in my mind that she in fact caused my invitation to be revoked. I just think she needs to grow up. She was telling me how she didn't want to say bad things about people anymore, that she didn't want to cuss, and wanted to start reading the Bible again. I think it is so messed up that she felt the need to do this. Just because we get into an argument over lunch on Friday, she has to start problems. She told Moley's Replacement (the new girl at work), about Eggland's Best and myself. My personal business is none of her concern. I told Fuzzy McCootersnatch out of friendship and trust, and she betrayed me. She acted like she was my friend, but she wasn't all along. I don't have any reason to say anything about Fuzzy McCootersnatch or Derf, so why in the hell would she say that? Why did she turn out to be two faced just like the lot of them? A wise person told me "That will teach you to tell your coworkers personal stuff. When you get old and wise like me, you would have this knowledge learned the hard way as you are now. This is the difference between friends by choice and friends by association. Just play stupid! That should be easy for you! You are a trained actor." Eggland's Best, you are right...... cheers to you.

I am not a piece of ass

So Friday night I went to sing karaoke with some of my friends. I ended up getting drunk and having a good time. A friend from work, Puerto Rican ended up calling me, so I had invited him to join in the singing and festivities. When I wanted to leave, he walked outside with me and suggested we go to his house. I was not interested in going to his house. I was drunk, tired, and wanted to go home. I asked him why he wanted to go to his house so bad, and he replied "so I can get some condoms." First off, he has a girlfriend. Secondly, I had no way implied that I would be taking him home with me to let him 'have his way with me'. I was drunk, but not that drunk. I thought I made that quite clear. He seemed to understand, but asked if he could follow me home. I guess he was worried about me getting home safely, or made it sound that way at any rate. We get to my house safely, and my phone rings. I answer it, it is Eggland's Best calling to come over. This pissed off Puerto Rican, because he walked out the door and drove off. I don't understand where he gets off thinking I am going to sleep with him. I was pissed, especially because I have been seeing Eggland's Best, and that is it. I called Puerto Rican on Saturday to give him the benefit of the doubt. I asked him why he stormed off, he was mad that I answered my phone when Eggland's Best rang. He also said that he didn't want to be friends with me. I guess this is because I didn't put out. That is insane. He needs to go call his girlfriend for that, I am not the work whore. I shouldn't have to sleep with someone to maintain a friendship with them, that is ridiculous. This is the place I work at. I shouldn't have to feel like I am in a day care center all day, and when it is time to get off, mommy is here to pick me up. For the love of God, I am not just a piece of ass. I have substance, and worth. Fuck you for thinking you could get in so easily, and Fuck you for giving into the stereotype of douche bag, ass hat men; boys for that matter.

Get off your high horse

I don't know what is in the air today, but everyone is in a pissy mood, myself included. First off, my boss, Italian Long-Lunch isn't gone by 12 which upsets me because I had made arrangements to meet Bobbies McBrune for lunch at 1:30. We had decided to go to Chipolte, a restaurant owned and operated by McDonald's, because they were able to tend to my "no meat on Friday" needs. I informed Fuzzy McCootersnatch of the plans in case she was interested in joining Boobies and myself. At some point between me telling her where I was going and me actually walking out the building shit hit the fan. I have been trying to go and eat with her seeing as how next week will be her last, but I will not tolerate someone being rude to me for no reason. This is not the first time she has gotten this attitude with me. Last time she hung the phone up on me when I merely asked her what was wrong. I DO NOT tolerate being hung up on, and for me to even put that behind me and initialize conversation with her after a few day cooling off period, is a big deal. This time, UNACCEPTABLE. She told Mr. Match.com that she would get him lunch when she went out. I guess that she somehow forgot about Chipolte plans and told him she would go to the French House. The French House is a bistro like place that doesn't really cater to people "not eating meat on Friday." I guess that just slipped her mind. The thing that bothers me the most is that I often wait to go to lunch late so we can go together (instead of going at the butt crack of dawn), and for her to act this way is so disrespectful and selfish. I guess I shouldn't care that she is leaving. It seems to me that she isn't being the friend she claims to be. Maybe I was mistaken. If she didn't want to go where I was going that is one thing, but for her to cop this attitude with me and go off, is another. If she thinks she can come to me with that, she doesn't know me very well. She better be glad that she didn't get punched in the fucking face. Fuzzy, you know who you are, and I think you owe me an apology.

Dick Licks and Douche Bags

Today is just a great day. Let me fill you all in on how absolutely wonderful my life is at present. First off, NJ is getting back with his ex..... go figure. I called him as I was driving to work this morning when he informed me of this executive decision. Not only that, but apparently he is unable to maintain a friendship with me in addition. I put together a package of goodies to send him before I even knew that he was potentially getting back with his ex, and have been holding on to it because his birthday is April 6. When I had asked him what I should do about the package, he informed me that it would be best NOT to send it. So basically there goes $50.00 down the drain. I told him that this was not fair, and for lacking any kind of compassion, I guess he just didn't get it. As I am speaking to NJ on the phone, Eggland's Best calls me and tells me my car is leaking oil. Fucking fabulous, just when I thought it couldn't be any worse. So I drive to work, paranoid that when I got my oil changed 800 miles ago, they fucked something up, and had Eggland's Best not noticed, I would have a fried engine in 4,200 miles before my next service due. I called and complained. My car isn't even a year old, and for them to already be fucking up during my second oil change is ridiculous. Fortunately I work in a place where people are trained for such situations. The leak is fixed, but the dick licks are still on my shit list. Oil changes are the most common repair, and if they can't even do it right, what the fuck are they doing in that particular field? I am irate. NJ had mentioned that he was seeking therapy and whatnot, well, you know what? I have been there, done that, taken all that bullshit, and realized something. Mind over matter. You have to be mentally capable of overcoming obstacles on your own. Medication isn't necessarily the answer. I know, I was on them all. You can't live your life falsely depending on some medication to make everything bearable. You are supposed to hurt, to feel ,and to cry. Life is supposed to be hard. Life is supposed to be an emotional roller coaster. I don't give a damn who you are, because I know from personal experience. You have to find another method of relieving those issues or you will never be complete. I may be fucked up, but I know it is real and I know how to change things. I don't rely on false pretenses or self medicating oneself. Look at all those people whose lives are ruined from drugs. They are just doing the low class version of what you are doing. People, it is normal to feel frustrated or upset. It is normal to cry, scream, cheer, and love. You have to find your own way of overcoming emotional battles with oneself. One day the medication may not be there, but I will. I will still be here and I will still fight those depressed urges, because I can do anything and I don't need medication to know that. If you think I am wrong, this is the only medication you need.......