The Chronicles of Wah-Wah, Part IV

Make sure you buy your Mighty Tidy
for the one and only, the Almighty.
Clean him well and have spin
no matter what, you ALWAYS win.
Pheromones can't do it all
sometimes it works, but dicks are small.
Go with what you know and trust
before you spontaneously combust.
No need to figure out the guy
or the package between the thighs.
I have a dresser for times like these
that is filled with everything I need.
The toys, the attachments, and the cleanser
wow, it is like this thing has a sensor!
A few more seconds, then I'm done
Osaki is still my number one.
I went to a party and was put in a strap
my coworker as well with my ass there to tap.
They asked me to sell cause I knew all the stuff
but I'd go in debt, knowing my luck.
I would sell so many, I'd lose my count
but I would also buy, so there's my discount!
I must admit it would be fun
to make sure every woman on earth had one.

The Chronicles of Wah-Wah, Part III

Motion isn't only in the ocean.
My vibrator has the magic potion.
He revs me up, and puts me in gear.
I have to drive and I have to steer.
There is no auto pilot, so I have to do
more than I should, which I am used to.
To tell you the truth it has been quite a long time.
He is still packed away in one of those boxes of mine.
I should take him out and have a go.
But what if someone walked in and saw my big show?
I am so used to living alone,
Now I get kicks with "him" on the phone.
"Pour some sugar on me" as Bon Jovi once said.
And lick from my feet right up to my head.
As you can tell, it has been quite some time.
Since I've spent some quality moments with that vibrator of mine.
I once got a friend a special one too.
Cause she knew the spell I am now going through.
The next day she said she was happy he had arrived.
The best Christmas gift ever, she swore on her life!
The gift that keeps giving, until his batteries die.
Then you buy more and he will be revived.




In honor of Fuzzy McCootersnatch
May your "friend" glow forever!

The Chronicles of Wah-Wah, Part II

It only takes a few minutes to get where I am going;
Cause I am in control, and my toy is all knowing.
I call him BOB, Battery Operated Boyfriend
He love me long time, and is there til the end.
I hate when you go to use him and his batteries are dead
It's not like the fucking thing can give you some head.
But oh when he's charged and ready to go
You can make him go fast, and you can make him go slow.
My favorite is Osaki, I admit he's quite nice
He doesn't stimulate once, he stimulates twice!
He takes care of the internal and external spots
To hell with the sweating, he still makes me hot.
So tonight I will go sit back and just chill
And no one will worry, cause I will be fulfilled!


Not as good as the first Chronicle of Wah-Wah, but we have to keep it going.....

The Chronicles of Wah-Wah, Part I

Sex is intimate; Sex is fun.
George Michael says its best when its "One on one."
One on one; or one with one?
Playing with self can be just as fun.
You don't hear no back talk; you don't have to pretend
That you got off before he came to an end.
Osaki is nice; he spasms and turns
And when you are done with him, you haven't the burns.
You won't get knocked up; you have nothing to protect
And after you are done, you still have self respect.
Playing alone can be so much fun;
You don't have to stop until you are done.