Incomplete and hating every bit of it

I have been depressed lately. I have more than some, but I am not satisfied. I have my own place, I have a new car, I have a decent job, but I lack something. I lack fulfillment and completion. I am constantly at war with myself. I want to love, and I want to be loved. I want to work in an environment where people aren't constantly making you feel your job is at jeopardy. I know I do a good job, but people are more concerned with what I do outside of work, than to realize what all I do when I am here. I am just not happy. At this point of my life, I thought that I would at least have a serious relationship, marriage even. I am not even close. I don't need a man to be happy, but at the same time, I have so much love to give, and there is no one to give it to. I constantly find myself giving too much. I guess that men are just not in the place that I am mentally. It is either that, or they don't want to put in an equal amount. Why is it so hard? I used to want the intangible man, and as I have grown older, I realize that isn't the case anymore. I want someone that has their shit together. I want someone that is in a mind state where marriage and future is possible. Is that too much to ask? Let me get out of this rut a better person. I don't settle, but I really don't think I am asking too much. I am sure that he is out there somewhere. I am just tired of looking and tired of waiting. I guess that the saying "things happen when you least expect them to" may be the case. I am still trying to figure that out. I just don't want to be that old woman with 20 cats that dies alone. I think about that sometimes. I want children, and I shouldn't have to trap someone into getting hitched because I purposely got knocked up.