I Look Like Shit Today? Tell me What You Really Think....

So, I came into work on Friday and my boss asked me if I had stayed up all night. I said no, and he proceeded to tell me that I looked like shit. I told him the only difference was that I didn't have on any make up, but that I often do not wear make up to work. He told me that he felt he needed to "clear the air" and "get it out"..... first off, that is an opinion, and secondly, I could have gone the whole day without having heard what he has to say in regards to my appearance.

I should have just told him to quit being mad that I won't let him fuck me like he wants and to just get over it, or that he is ugly everyday, but I figured it caused less harm to just keep my mouth shut. Perhaps I am leading, and he should follow my example. That is like telling someone they look fat when they didn't even ask you if they did. What the fuck?!?!

I should have known he was shallow when I met him, seeing as how he wanted a picture sent along with my resume, but if you aren't a model, don't expect one!!!

Are you serious?

I received this email today after jokingly asking my friend Karaoke King why I was bumped down on his "top friends" list on MySpace......

"Everyone gets shuffled around from time to time and this is exactly why I deleted my first Myspace page... people cryin' about not being the #1 friend. Sad yes..and fucking stupid. But...if you need a reason.. This whole this last week about me changing plans and how you're hurt over it is a bunch of stupid bologna. You changed our plans Monday and did I cry over it? No. Then you proceed to berate me because I wouldn't further change my plans to help you. Well, I'm sorry. Then, I see that you blog about the whole situation and you fail to reveal the reason I changed plans, trying to make yourself look "holy-er-than-thou" and that is the last straw. I believe I've treated you well. I've gone above and beyond to hook you up with drinks and dinner and such and for what? I'm a nice guy. I didn't hit on you or make you uncomfortable..I was just there to hang with. I believe part of your anger about the plans thing is that you expected me to pay for your dinner because I'd been so willing in the past. Well, times they are a changin. Seeing you so hung up on all this has really changed the way I look at you. It's sad. You're one of the only ladies I know who's intelligent, fun and beautiful yet you can't function alone. I'm removing the sign from my back that says "STEP HERE". I'm letting you know now NOT to plan on Tuesday night...I have plans already with other friends. It was fun while it lasted. I hope you get all you're looking for when you move to NJ. Good luck. Oh yeah...and inviting your friend to dinner, having drinks and expecting me to pony up for it was pretty bold. Thank goodness that won't be happening again. "

I surely wasn't expecting that from him. It bothers me that he even thinks that way. I am no one to convince anyone else otherwise, because I lack the effort to even attempt trying. If this is how I come off to other people, so be it; the ones that really know me know that this isn't the case.

As far as the tab, my friend ate what I had left on my plate from my meal. The only thing that she ordered was one beer and I had the same. When the bill came I asked him if he wanted to split it down the middle, then retreated and said "Oh no, I forgot we both (my friend and I) had a beer each", he said it was fine, I double checked and that was it. I mean, I will give you your $3.50 extra that you paid. If I am not mistaken, I split the total bill with him, including the edamame I didn't order and whatnot, but if that is such a big deal, my bad. I didn't realize it was like that. I should have busted out the calculator.



I guess this just proves that people get offended when they are called out. As far as the Monday night deal and my backing out, he was offering to pay for a massage, so in the long run I am glad I backed out. I wouldn't dare want that thrown in my face.

I never asked him to pay for anything for me; he offered. The point of the matter is to not offer something to someone if you are going to shove it back in their face. It really isn't a gift when you talk about it so much. Let me pay for myself, I never said you had to do it.

This just proves to me more and more my justification for leaving Houston. I love Houston, I mean I grew up here, but everything has changed so much from when I loved it here, I loved being here, and I loved the people here. It surely isn't the same.

Also, plans are plans. Don't get upset with me for not keeping your end of the bargain and being called out in a blog. When I cancelled, it was to....
1) Not have you spend YOUR money on me
2) To get my TV that I had been waiting for nearly a month for
and
3) I called the lady myself to cancel, therefore not inconveniencing you in any manner

What else do you want from me? You get mad that I cancel something you were going to pay $35 for, to do something important, but are upset that we split a tab where a $3.50 drink was on there. I am sure we didn't order the exact same thing, and with you ordering a la carte, are you sure I didn't pick up some of your tab? Do you know for a fact? I wasn't meticulous in the unveiling of the receipt. I guess we will never know.

Maybe I will go and order the exact same thing we both did to decipher the results, if it is such a big deal.

Next time the calculator will be present, say no more.

Uninvited: a revoked invitation

Saturday I was supposed to go to a 5th annual house warming party. I called the hostess, Jugs to get directions. No answer. I left a message and told her to call me back because I didn't know how to get there. She called when I was showering to start getting ready for her party, so I told her I would call her back in a few minutes. I got out of the shower, and called Jugs again. When I had asked her how to get to her house, she told me that it would be best if I didn't come to the party after all. I asked why, but she didn't go into much detail. She said that I was spreading gossip about Fuzzy McCootersnatch and Derf, Jugs' boyfriend. I asked her what I allegedly had said, and she said that I have been spreading rumours that they have been having sex. I think that is funny, because coincidentally, Fuzzy McCootersnatch told me that Eggland's Best was spreading those rumours. I have no doubt in my mind that she in fact caused my invitation to be revoked. I just think she needs to grow up. She was telling me how she didn't want to say bad things about people anymore, that she didn't want to cuss, and wanted to start reading the Bible again. I think it is so messed up that she felt the need to do this. Just because we get into an argument over lunch on Friday, she has to start problems. She told Moley's Replacement (the new girl at work), about Eggland's Best and myself. My personal business is none of her concern. I told Fuzzy McCootersnatch out of friendship and trust, and she betrayed me. She acted like she was my friend, but she wasn't all along. I don't have any reason to say anything about Fuzzy McCootersnatch or Derf, so why in the hell would she say that? Why did she turn out to be two faced just like the lot of them? A wise person told me "That will teach you to tell your coworkers personal stuff. When you get old and wise like me, you would have this knowledge learned the hard way as you are now. This is the difference between friends by choice and friends by association. Just play stupid! That should be easy for you! You are a trained actor." Eggland's Best, you are right...... cheers to you.

I am not a piece of ass

So Friday night I went to sing karaoke with some of my friends. I ended up getting drunk and having a good time. A friend from work, Puerto Rican ended up calling me, so I had invited him to join in the singing and festivities. When I wanted to leave, he walked outside with me and suggested we go to his house. I was not interested in going to his house. I was drunk, tired, and wanted to go home. I asked him why he wanted to go to his house so bad, and he replied "so I can get some condoms." First off, he has a girlfriend. Secondly, I had no way implied that I would be taking him home with me to let him 'have his way with me'. I was drunk, but not that drunk. I thought I made that quite clear. He seemed to understand, but asked if he could follow me home. I guess he was worried about me getting home safely, or made it sound that way at any rate. We get to my house safely, and my phone rings. I answer it, it is Eggland's Best calling to come over. This pissed off Puerto Rican, because he walked out the door and drove off. I don't understand where he gets off thinking I am going to sleep with him. I was pissed, especially because I have been seeing Eggland's Best, and that is it. I called Puerto Rican on Saturday to give him the benefit of the doubt. I asked him why he stormed off, he was mad that I answered my phone when Eggland's Best rang. He also said that he didn't want to be friends with me. I guess this is because I didn't put out. That is insane. He needs to go call his girlfriend for that, I am not the work whore. I shouldn't have to sleep with someone to maintain a friendship with them, that is ridiculous. This is the place I work at. I shouldn't have to feel like I am in a day care center all day, and when it is time to get off, mommy is here to pick me up. For the love of God, I am not just a piece of ass. I have substance, and worth. Fuck you for thinking you could get in so easily, and Fuck you for giving into the stereotype of douche bag, ass hat men; boys for that matter.

Get off your high horse

I don't know what is in the air today, but everyone is in a pissy mood, myself included. First off, my boss, Italian Long-Lunch isn't gone by 12 which upsets me because I had made arrangements to meet Bobbies McBrune for lunch at 1:30. We had decided to go to Chipolte, a restaurant owned and operated by McDonald's, because they were able to tend to my "no meat on Friday" needs. I informed Fuzzy McCootersnatch of the plans in case she was interested in joining Boobies and myself. At some point between me telling her where I was going and me actually walking out the building shit hit the fan. I have been trying to go and eat with her seeing as how next week will be her last, but I will not tolerate someone being rude to me for no reason. This is not the first time she has gotten this attitude with me. Last time she hung the phone up on me when I merely asked her what was wrong. I DO NOT tolerate being hung up on, and for me to even put that behind me and initialize conversation with her after a few day cooling off period, is a big deal. This time, UNACCEPTABLE. She told Mr. Match.com that she would get him lunch when she went out. I guess that she somehow forgot about Chipolte plans and told him she would go to the French House. The French House is a bistro like place that doesn't really cater to people "not eating meat on Friday." I guess that just slipped her mind. The thing that bothers me the most is that I often wait to go to lunch late so we can go together (instead of going at the butt crack of dawn), and for her to act this way is so disrespectful and selfish. I guess I shouldn't care that she is leaving. It seems to me that she isn't being the friend she claims to be. Maybe I was mistaken. If she didn't want to go where I was going that is one thing, but for her to cop this attitude with me and go off, is another. If she thinks she can come to me with that, she doesn't know me very well. She better be glad that she didn't get punched in the fucking face. Fuzzy, you know who you are, and I think you owe me an apology.

Lunch: a way to get pissed off daily

When it gets close to lunch, I always get pissed off. People at work decided that my boss and I can no longer be gone at the same time. By this, they mean even a slight overlapping of 5-10 minutes. Under most work conditions this wouldn't be an issue, but for me things are different. If my boss left at the same time everyday, things would be fine. If my boss didn't leave for an hour and a half everyday, I wouldn't care. My boss leaves whenever he feels like it and takes at least an hour and a half. Even if I tell him I have lunch plans at 1:30 PM, he will leave at 12:15 PM and not return until 1:45 PM having no regard for my lunch appointment. My friend, Boobies McBrune is always having to wait for me. My friend at work, Fuzzy McCootersnatch is usually having to wait for me too. I don't mind that my boss takes longer that everyone else, that doesn't bother me. What DOES bother me, is when I go up to him at 11:30 in the morning telling him to leave so he can be back at a decent time, he doesn't do it. I get to work before he does. So basically he gets here later than I do, he leaves for lunch before I do, and he takes a longer lunch than I do. Hmmmmm. How does this make and sense? Where does it add up? I try to be nice about it, but I am annoyed. If I am giving him a heads up on the time so he doesn't leave too late, he should know that I am not doing it because I care about his stomach, but the fact that I am hungry and need to eat before I transform into a total bitch. There are certain things that I have to have a certain way or I lose it.

1) Don't hang up on me.
2) When I am hungry, don't make me wait forever to eat. (My ex, Mayor's son found out the hard way........ He made me wait to eat, and when I finally ate, I threw everything up.)
3) Don't lie.
4) Don't cheat.

I told him to leave about an hour ago, and I still don't think he has made his way out the door yet. Why do I have to deal with the same shit everyday? I am tired of this place and their pathetic bullshit they call a business. Fuzzy McCootersnatch has seemed to see the light. She will be chunking the deuce very soon. Hell, I wouldn't mind dropping everything and hauling myself to a different location. Food for thought. Oh wait, I am waiting to go to lunch, there is no food for thought..... dick licks!!!

Don't hang up on me!!!

I was diligently working on a project when i received a call from Swamp Thing on my cell. She was calling me to get directions to a place where people can donate Plasma for money. I told her to hold on a second because I was in the middle of something, and she proceeds to go off saying "I would help you if you needed it". I told her I had no problem helping her, but she would have to wait. I guess if you are a person without a job you have no regard for those that do. She hung up the phone. First of all, don't call me asking for a favor and hang up. Secondly, I will be damned if you can't wait approximately two minutes until I am finished with what I am doing. I can't stand when people hang up on me. I think that may be at the top of my list as far as getting pissed off the quickest. I just don't understand how Swamp Thing calls me asking for help, and gets pissed when I can't jump at that particular moment. Maybe she should be Ask Jeeves for a job instead of trying to Google a damn Plasma Donation Center. Maybe she should Yahoo! her way into a temp agency, or make a Monster out of her resume. Whatever her issue is, I can honestly care less. If she didn't get fired from her last job, maybe she wouldn't have to ask for my help, cause the tramp would have money. Maybe if she didn't spend her last hundred dollars on stuff to "cleanse her urine" she wouldn't be in this situation. Frankly, if you haven't a job, why would you need to "cleanse your urine" anyway? How is she getting the goods that make her pee "not so satisfactory" to the people that are potentially offering her a job? If she is so damn good at what she does, why has she been unemployed since I met her? Well, she succeeded in pissing me off, that is certain. Swamp Thing, get a job and as far as I am concerned, get a life while you are at it. Maybe AltaVista or Dogpile can help, and as far as calling me..... don't bother. We weren't that good of friends anyway. You too are dispensable.