Some People Lack Common Sense

While in Austin this weekend, I get a text from my boss telling me how my ex is at this black tie event sitting close to him with a drop dead gorgeous female by his side. What I really want to know, is my boss a fucking idiot or what? I mean, I couldn't care less who my ex is with, and I most certainly do not need my boss spying for me or acting as my informer. If I cared, I could have found that out all by myself. I write him back "that's good" and go about my business.

I come into work today, and he says "so you wanna hear the scoop?"..... He tells me that he was mistaken, and that the drop dead gorgeous female was on one side, and that he was with the lady on the other side. Turns out they both had on rings, and according to my boss they were "making out".... First, I don't think that is very likely or at all in character of the ex at a black tie event, and secondly, I figured he would go back to his wife (because he can't be alone and she is dumb enough to accept him even though she is a last resort or back up plan), the thing I still want to know if how does this apply to my boss? Is this any of his business? Why is he acting as a messenger? AND, have I acted like I care, or have I asked him? No. He needs to back the fuck up and recognize his place.... As my employer, not my fucking stalker or detective.

I amazes me what guys will do to try and get their dick wet. It is like ever since he told me he was infatuated with me, he is trying to push my buttons, and he is trying to be an instigator. Sorry, not planning on tripping and falling and landing on your dick anytime soon.....

I mean, does he not realize that there are boundaries and a level of respect you should hold? Don't get into any one's personal life if you aren't invited, and don't put your nose where it doesn't belong.

I Look Like Shit Today? Tell me What You Really Think....

So, I came into work on Friday and my boss asked me if I had stayed up all night. I said no, and he proceeded to tell me that I looked like shit. I told him the only difference was that I didn't have on any make up, but that I often do not wear make up to work. He told me that he felt he needed to "clear the air" and "get it out"..... first off, that is an opinion, and secondly, I could have gone the whole day without having heard what he has to say in regards to my appearance.

I should have just told him to quit being mad that I won't let him fuck me like he wants and to just get over it, or that he is ugly everyday, but I figured it caused less harm to just keep my mouth shut. Perhaps I am leading, and he should follow my example. That is like telling someone they look fat when they didn't even ask you if they did. What the fuck?!?!

I should have known he was shallow when I met him, seeing as how he wanted a picture sent along with my resume, but if you aren't a model, don't expect one!!!

This Blog is Called Why I am Always Pissed Off for a Reason

I started this blog when my best friend at the time told me it would be a good way to get things off my chest. Because she was far away (and having recently found out she never gave a shit) this was my way to vent about things. To say what was bottled in, and have it go somewhere rather than just building up and making me explode later.

One thing I have never been a fan of is fake people. I try to be as honest and open as possible, and I don't care to make room for people that are fake and full of shit. I may have issues with depression, anxiety, sleeping, etc... but I am not a fake person, and I don't pretend to care if I don't. The so called "best friend" recently wrote me an email pointing out (according to her) my flaws, but failed to hear what I had to say in return. First off, I have never tried to tell her how much of a shitty friend she has been to me, even when I felt it. She, however must have felt validated by doing this to me though.... perhaps it made her feel better about herself.

I can name numerous things I have done to be good to this person. I even helped her shed (how much was it again) over 50 pounds. Talk about being a good friend and a motivator. Not to mention I donated to her causes, bought her shirts, and even had my parents donate to her causes. I am afraid she has never supported any of mine.

I think it is funny that she always categorizes herself as being a commitment phobe. She started getting close to this guy, he wants to move in, and then she breaks it off with him. She did basically the opposite with me.

When we were in college or in the same town, we were inseparable. She then moved away and we saw each other every once in a while. I graduated, and left too. Then we saw each other even less. We used to talk everyday on the phone, but then it became a matter of convenience for her. When I moved up north and was only 4 hours away from her, she didn't want to put in the equal amount of effort it would take to see one another. I suppose since I was far away and not immediately available to her, she just gave up on me, and gave up on our friendship as well.

The thing that bothers me the most is that she wrote me an email basically going off on me for being a shitty friend, but I don't ever think she stop to realize that she was being one herself (and for quite some time at that), and when called out, she chose to ignore me..... a very mature thing to do, but nonetheless, she stopped being a good friend to me a long time ago. I tried to look past it, and consider it was a different time, and we were far apart, but I felt her distancing herself for quite some time. Her excuses for not coming to visit went from tires on her truck, to time off work, to money, but then again that didn't stop her from going to see other people and going other places, and not to mention driving the same truck she didn't want to come see me in..... things that make you go hmmmmm.

All of this is fine actually, but the only thing I have left to say is this.....

If you want to initiate a conversation in which you mention someones flaws, then be prepared to see it through. Be willing to listen to what the other person has to say in return, because if not, there was no point in having said your peace..... your mind was already made up.

I wish you well, and I hope you have a great life. I hope that one day you will be able to commit to someone and be happy. I hope no one ever calls you out on being a shitty friend without letting you respond and who doesn't ignore you. I also hope that your friends don't move out of state and leave you to turn into a shitty friend to them as you did to me long ago, and I hope when people ask about your problems, that they actually care about them. Maybe one day you will grow up and realize all of this, and maybe you will push your pride aside and call me...... and MAYBE I will be there to answer your call.

The Thought of Moving in Together

Boyfriend: I meant what I said
Me: I would hope so
Me: It would please me if this is it....
Boyfriend: Meaning you and I forever?
Me: Yes
Boyfriend: I think I'd be happy too. You are beautiful in the morning.
Me: That is a good plus then, I suppose
Boyfriend: Well, if I wake up with you every morning, it's a plus for me.
Me: Well, shit..... Why do we pay 2 rents? Ha. Kidding.
Boyfriend: But are you really?
Me: So so to either I suppose.
Me: If we stayed together every night it would be dumb to pay for 2 places.
Me: Even a 2 bedroom would be cheaper, you know? But, at the same time, it would be soon to do something like that right this second.
Boyfriend: I know. Believe it or not, that crossed my mind. Who knows what the future holds though.
Me: That is good to know. :) Plus, saving money is not bad either
Me: Anyways, sleep well my boyfriend.
Boyfriend: Only if you were here, but I'll try.
Me: No need to lie.....
Boyfriend: I'd rather sleep with you always waking up, than without you here. Not a lie.
Boyfriend: Good night sweetheart.
Me: Good night baby.




This all was after him telling me (in person) that he should make a key to his place for me, so I could come over whenever I wanted to wash clothes. Also, when I go over to his house, I don't knock..... he wants me to just come in.